Rise and Shine

Craig and I exchange a few e-mails that evening.  And then poof!  He's gone. Vanished. And I wonder to myself if this is just exactly what I should expect of him. He's trying to wedge a lot of things into his life and I will get his attention when he has it to give. Which will be somewhat unpredictable. 

I make a wonderful dinner and brownies and set a beautiful table to welcome J.'s girls.  Hil and I catch up with them for hours. Pat misses out on all the girl talk because he's at Scout camp.  Probably just as well. But we have a lovely time--- and as I've said, we'll get to that.

Mac texts a few times. And each time I hope it is Craig. I hate when the text is from the wrong guy. Though his texts, I must admit, showed signs of good-natured humor, maturity and sweetness. Instead of the Alpha Dog mentality I expect. 

The next day Hil and I decide to take to the nature trail at a local college. We gather up all the bread, rolls and crackers whose expiration dates have come and gone and hope the geese and ducks have returned to the lake at the end of the trail. It's a gorgeous day. I am anxious to take pictures.

As we leave, I get and ignore a call from Mac. I am spending the morning with my girl and no one will intrude. What does this say about the viability of the Mac thing?  Nothing good.

Hil and I chat and walk and chat some more and are thrilled that the geese and ducks are there in masses.  They come right to the edge of the lake and don't seem to mind at all that we are big scary humans.  Starvation will do that, I guess.  After the goods are gone and we've walked all around the lake and laughed at memories we hold of the place, we decide to take a short detour to a local coffee shop for some muffins and hot chocolate (okay, a latte for me...) 

I look for signs of life from Craig on Facebook.

I get signs of life instead from Mac (who is not on Facebook, which I find very convenient).

He texts that he is off to the gym (another departure from the Mac I once knew) and he'll talk to me later. The text was about 30 minutes old...so I answer, thinking I can get away with a one way conversation.

No such luck. He calls.

And truth be told, he's very nice. Says he likes that I am spending quality time with my daughter (though not at the moment, she's reading the New York Post while I am yakking on the phone, Bucko) and likes that side of me. Tells me that the last time we were together, the "kid thing" sort of scared him.  He seems to be unafraid now. Asks a lot of questions about each of them. It's sort of nice.

But I am probably becoming a nuisance in the coffee shop, and Hil is done with the gossipy section of the paper, so I end the conversation. He sends a text about the geese.  He seems to be genuinely engaged in getting to know me.

He sends another text. He says he thinks we could be great friends. And adds that friendship is the basis of every good relationship. He's enjoying getting to know me. 

So why am I not thrilled to hear this? 

Maybe it is just like it was with Scott in the beginning. I had doubts in the days that led to our first date. What if too much had changed?  What if we had become too different? What if there was no spark? And that had all evaporated the moment I'd seen him. Maybe the moment I see Mac, I'll remember why I was attracted to him? 

Let's hope so. Otherwise it's going to be a very long, hellish date.