Boundaries, Schmounderies

It's funny how some people are driven by a singular ambition. In this case, my old friend was so morbidly curious about my life that I could not have so much as a hang nail without it becoming national news.

Literally.  I was hearing about my life from all manner of people. From all over the country. As if each one of them was tasked with confirming some little seemingly harmless detail and the puppeteer would put it all together.  She had all her puppets with their strings up...and all the players were probably not even aware that they were puppets.  But it was insane what people would ask me about. The mundane details. The speculation about my whereabouts. The good natured curiosity expressed by friends who remained curious about how I was piecing my life together post-Scott.

But the common threads among them had my old friend's fingerprints all over them. Most of these people were people I rarely heard from. Many of them were people I rarely shared any relevant details of my life with. People on the periphery of my life who would know no more about me than what was printed in the college alumni magazine. So my radar was on a finely tuned frequency from all the chatter. I was careful not to reveal anything.  If someone took a guess at something, I'd dodge the issue, and avoid saying anything that would confirm or deny anything. I felt like I was a spy being interrogated by authorities.

And admittedly, sometimes I toyed with the whole situation. Floated a vague story to someone with just enough detail to get them all salivating.  I would dangle something out on Facebook that would create mystery and intrigue.  And vanish from view on Facebook for a few days to amp up the curiosity.  Reappear like nothing happened. Maybe drop something that could be considered a wink, wink to someone that would not go unnoticed but could never be confirmed. 

But the infiltration into my life became unbearable and it stopped being even remotely funny. And after about a week of incessant drilling down, and things that made me go "Hmmm" and random questions from odd people, and an ever widening pool of people who seemed to be talking about every single aspect of my life, I took action.

In an unprecedented move, I decided not to trust that my former friend would abide my boundaries, or even have a reflective moment or two about her conduct. In fact, it was apparent that her response was going to be to just find more clever, creative, stealth ways to dig into my life, which had only recently become so fascinating for reasons I could not begin to explain. 

So I went onto my laptop to the full application of Facebook and unfriended and blocked her. And a few of her acquaintances to seal off any possible penetration.

The whole thing made my heart race. So final.  So brutal.  So public.  And I wondered how that would change the game.  And frankly, was a little worried.