Return of the Mack

I reply.

"Hello, Mac. That would be lovely."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"I have my kids this week. Next weekend?"

"Great. New York or Miami?"

I am sure he's exaggerating. I tell him both sound great. But if he isn't exaggerating, it would appear that Mac has learned that you need to part company with a dollar or two on a proper date. He was big on dates that required none of that. Parties.  Quiet evenings at home. They don't qualify as dates in my book. And certainly not first dates.

He says he's at an art museum downtown.  A very prestigious art museum.  Seems Mac has become somewhat cultured.  When I'd met him he was as cultured as a bottle of Boone's Farm. Maybe the seven years in between our last contact was productive for Mac. Maybe he's finally gone to Charm School.

He calls me.  Still very funny. Same over the top attitude, but I am more comfortable with sparring now. He's met his match from a verbal fisticuffs perspective. It is actually fun to talk with him.

He wants to stop over. Right now. Pushy little thing.

I am just off the treadmill, and therefore a sweathog, so I say no. He says he doesn't care if I am hot and stinky.

What?  I haven't seen you in seven years and you think I should be OK grunging on our first meeting? Eeew.

I flatly refuse. He says he's taking his mother to lunch anyway and backs down, thank God.  She's 85 and his steady Saturday lunch date. I think that is cute. I'll forgive the weirdness about seeing me sweaty.

Then he tells me that he was on a date at the museum and was glad to have gotten the text telling him to call me. 

What?  He was on a date?

That means two things to me.

One - He is mature enough to plan a Saturday morning date that will not end in nudity.

Two - He is self-centered and rude enough to text another woman while on said date, and perhaps that is because said date will not end in nudity. (perhaps due to the standing lunch date with his mother.)

I tell him if I ever find that he is texting other women while we are on anything that resembles a date, I will kill him in public. And he will be screaming like a girl. It will not be pretty.

He  laughs heartily.

I am regretting this already.