An Audience with the Cheeses

The day of my appointment at school has arrived.

I am always amazed at other people's ideas about accommodation.

I am one of (at most) 4 working mothers in my neighborhood. And as such, I ask for the first appointment of the morning for things like conferences. Or darn close to it. Our school district does not subscribe to the "evening appointment for the convenience of all family configurations including those who are divorced, widowed, employed in inflexible jobs, or any other obstacle that might prevent one from being able to attend a noon appointment for anything." So if not at the beginning of the day, then I have A Big Inconvenience. I work in another state and having to be back at home at school for a meeting between the hours of 8 and 2:30 is about as convenient as the cable company's 4 hour service window. As in not.

So this year, when the meaningless purple one third of a piece of paper notice came home in Hil's backpack inviting me to "pick one of three days and a convenient time" and to list by name the teachers I'd like to meet, I am on it right away. I pick any of the three days (they are the three days preceding the Thanksgiving Holiday, and the kids will have three half days in a row, so the week is pretty much shot in the ass from a productivity standpoint anyway) I ask again for the first time slot available and even offer to come in early if that floats anyone's boat (it does not). And I attempt to name the teachers based on my fading memory from Back To School Night, instead of relying on what Hil calls them. (i.e. My Evil Science Teacher) I return it to the homeroom teacher as instructed the very next day. I don't even check with Lars about his availability. That is just inviting the barbarian to cross the gate.

And the appointment slip is promptly returned that afternoon. And I have been awarded the Booby Prize. The 11:35 am to 11:45 am appointment. Right smack in the middle of the day.

I approach my boss about working from home in the spirit of having something that resembles a productive day. For even if it would not take me an hour to drive back home to the school, and if there were the chance of finding a parking space that isn't a football field away from the school, and if it would not take me even longer to return to the office, it is for sure that my appointment will not commence at 11:35.

Because, as a parent with 9 years in the school district, and 9 years of conferences to base my opinions upon, I know that once the stay-at-home mother who does not have to return to the office to participate in a conference call, or does not have to meet with an employee to discuss the fellow employee who she swears goes out an copies her outfits, or does not have to prepare a budget variance report and submit a very detailed capital request by the end of the day gets the undivided attention of 4 or 5 young respectful teachers for her 10 minute appointment, she will be so enamoured with the adult human contact and the fact that she is being spoken to in full sentences, that she will want to take a deep dive and cover every possible detail of little Johnny or little Susie's academic performance to date, and I will be sitting with my cakes tightly packed into a junior sized writing desk in the dusty linoleum corridor for half an hour while the young teachers try to derail her train of thought.

And knowing this, I know I will want to rush through my 10 allotted minutes to be heaped with laurels for my daughter and be a piss ant besides, knowing that I have commitments that await me and I promised I'd be back and I am nowhere near "back."

And so, I sheepishly approach my old school boss who vehemently opposes the telecommuting thing, and try to make it make sense to him. And when he sort of grunts approval, I joyously thank him and swear to God Himself that I will be on line at 6 am and not stop working even for the time it takes to throw in a load of permanent pressed laundry.

Besides, I have a meeting with the Assistant Superintendent to keep and I will extend the working day for hours to keep that commitment.