It Says Here, In Fine Print

I never throw anything thing out. And now I know why that is a bad idea.

I have 1,000s of past emails. And Lars has several working email addresses. I am looking for the proverbial needle in the proverbial haystack. I set my AOL to preview pane and click through dozens of innane messages.

Since Lars is lazy and rarely changes what is noted in the subject line, preferring instead to recycle the same old email with multiple responses that are unrelated in any way to the actual subject of the email, I have to read each and every infuriating email. My favorites are those that talk about something like "Hil needs a check and a permission slip for the field trip on Friday" with the ancient pre-divorce subject line "Re: The Ford needs to be inspected can you drop it off on the way back from your mammogram"

I can zero in on the approximate time frame, it was somewhere in the 120 days that has elapsed since the email that first mentioned the potential trip to Florida. I am pointing and clicking and sipping chardonnay, building more and more confidence that nothing was ever confirmed.

And then I read it.

In another email that evidently fell under the far-reaching umbrella topic of spring break, Lars:

• Confirms dates that each of us would have the children to enjoy spring break (got it, lunkhead, it's next week)


• Asks about the dates and times of the annual well visits with the children so he can accompany us to them (joy of joys) and presumably witness the vaccination melt down


• Mentions that we'll need documentation of the visit for camp (no shit)


• Reminds me that Hil needs a particular unnamed vaccination to begin 7th grade(again, no shit)


• Informs me that both children have a peice of art selected for the District Art Show (but neglects to mention that he intends to keep both peices for his own enjoyment)


• Indicates that he will take responsibility for camp enrollment and reminds me that I need to pay 58%, what that amount equates to down to the penny, and that he'd like a check that week. (Rub it in, ya big freeloader!)


• Indicates the weeks that the kids will be enrolled in camp and the weeks each of us have planned vacation so there is no need to enroll them. (Big of you...)

And there it is. Next to the notation "Vacation with Dad" he includes the dates. But unlike the other weeks, which are marked with Monday to Friday dates, this week has a Monday to Sunday notation. Not that it says Monday, July X to Sunday, July Y. It is just the dates. I was supposed to pick up on that subtle difference myself.

How careless of me not to have noticed.

Worse, the very next email from him, same subject, is simply "Thanks." Because in between those emails, I had written confirmed and consented.

I am so mad I am shaking. I want to call him back and screach a long string of heart stopping obscenities.

Instead, I close my laptop and cry.