A Fork in the Road

I am planning my strategy like a 5-Star General.

I am developing well-practiced, air-tight responses to each potential volley from Lars.

I have a hunch that Yoga Liza is not really going on the trip as he says. Hil and Pat have said as much. But like any good divorce lawyer will tell you, you can't always rely on intel coughed up by your kids, so there is a chance that they are not as completely informed as they would appear to be.

But a detail like this one is hard to get wrong. You may not remember the name of a movie, and you may not remember when it was made, but surely you recall who is in it.

But if they are wrong, my most major problem is resolved. While Lars is off curing cancer, Liza will be supervising my children with assumed competence. She is not a parent herself, and while she seems like a flake, she also seems like a nice and harmless flake, and so I will assume I can be confident in her ability to see that the children are neither snatched by child molesters, nor inadvertently drowned, and that she can fairly decently respond to any needs for First Aid or other medical treatment as well as anyone else her age who has survived into adulthood.

I also have a hunch that the children are right about much of the trip: That not only is Liza not attending, that there is no plan for their supervision.

It is more than likely that Liza's Yoga teaching schedule, the sole source of her income which is solely dependent upon her presence, will not easily allow her to be in another hemisphere for almost a week. And it is also likely that Lars realized, in keeping with the rituals found in the Cheapskate's Guide to Skimming Your Way to an Affordable Vacation, that Liza being at home presents an opportunity to avoid expensive kennel fees to warehouse Bailey the disobedient dog and Mr. Whiskers the hapless guinea pig. And for sure he wasn't offering to pay Liza's way...

And if my hunches are correct, I can paint Lars into the proverbial corner. Put him in Catch-22. Leave him with Sophie's Choice.

He will have to tell me a verifiable alternative to Liza's supervision (after admitting he's lied, of course) - Has he hired a bonded and insured hotel babysitter? Enrolled the children in a resort-sponsored camp? Has he asked his college-aged niece or nephew to come along for the trip?

Or, does he have to admit that he will be doing what I know he has no ethical qualms with doing - and collecting the CMEs, skipping the required coursework and classroom time, supervising the children himself and maintaining his professional license nefariously, fraudulently, unethically, and ultimately without regard to patient safety and well being?