See You in September

When I was in school, Back to School purchases were minimal and consistent across the globe, so it seemed.

In the early grades – a school bag, a cool lunch box (my sister had a Twiggy one!), a 1st day of school outfit, and a pair of new shoes that doubled as church shoes (until you dragged the toes of them trying to stop the wagon careening down the hill and left the suede in shreds…Joe!). Sneakers and haircuts were on an ad hoc basis.

At 4th grade, the list expanded to include a 3-ring binder of our choice, loose leaf paper in any new-fangled color but blue, and a blue pen or two, preferably housed in an optional pencil case.

In both cases, we got set of two No. 2 pencils and a steno pad-sized tablet with ruled paper with a grayish cast at the outset of each new semester.

By Junior High the list was not a list at all but at the discretion of the kid who needed to organize him or her self during the chaos and mayhem that are puberty and increased responsibility.

All that freedom of choice has gone out the window. We are not free to be you and me. You can no longer have it your way at Burger King. There is no way to hold the pickle hold the lettuce.

Because stuffed in the backpack with all the year end projects, and workbooks, and HOMEWORK, and the final report card is a lengthy list of required items that need to materialize at school when we return in September. Sometimes the list bleeds into a second page.

The list is comprised of items such as:

A backpack which complies with the mandate that all super duper multitasking, ergonomically beneficial backpacks be restricted from use due to the fact that they won’t fit into the skinny little locker-ettes that have replaced the full-sized-can-stuff-a 6th-grader-into-it type.
A 3-ring binder that complies with the teachers’ union boycott of one particular type with too many bells and whistles.
A specific number of No. 2 pencils –sharpened at home, please.
Pens – specific colors and quantities, and not erasable, thank you.
Folders – specific colors
A clean white sock – for the clean white board. Thankfully there are plenty of unmatched ones that were divorced in the dryer and came out single. Clean but maybe not convincingly so, and I am not buying a new pair, thank you.
Erasers and compasses and rulers, oh my.
Fat markers, thin markers, colored pencils.
A minimum number of glue sticks.
Scissors – preferably the brand endorsed by the bargaining unit that bans the notebook type.
Loose leaf, graph paper, dividers with labels and pockets
Sticky notes – specific dimensions and any colors except neons
Crayons – no fewer than X and no more than Y
A couple of inexplicable metric measuring implements (Didn’t we decide in the 70s that this was pointless?)
3X5 cards
A pencil sharpener capable of catching the shavings (isn’t there one with a handle screwed into the molding by the door?)
Paper towels
No fewer than 3 boxes of tissues
Hand sanitizer
Disinfecting wipes (What is with all the germophobia?? Are we going to school in a Petri dish?)

And at the end, a little disclaimer.

It notes that this list is not intended to be exhaustive; my children’s teachers will provide an additional list of teacher specific required survival kit items.

There will be no pad and No. 2 pencils provided for free. Not in the school district budget.

But added with out my consent to mine.