The Best Defense is a Strong Offense, Or Something Like That

So Joe, who is not really capable of multitasking, especially while driving, even more so if he intends not to be a public safety hazard, would clearly have to pull off to the side of the road to answer. Particularly if anything other than word fragments are going to be used.

So he pulls over into a warm and friendly familiar place, and once engulfed in the inspiring aromas wafting from the neighborhood Krispy Kreme, gets his 'tude on, and answers on the 11th ring.

"Yo!"

Charlotte wonders if she's inadvertently dialed Rocky Balboa.

Without needing to rehearse, she launches in to her carefully measured delivery. She hits all the highlights...the outrageous violation that launched the whole episode, his bungled management of the situation from the start, and perhaps most importantly, his inability to see his responsibility for the turmoil that has unfolded. Right to this very day. She enlightens him to the fact that despite his belief to the contrary, he does not have any support for his indefensible position, and rather than beating his head against the wall trying to rally some form of support, he should grow up, grow a pair and realize that the only person he really needs to approach about this mess is her. The issue involves just them. She and he.

And that is when he makes his tragic misstep (Ok, another tragic misstep in a long series of missteps). He mentions that he mentioned to our mother that she raised "one self-righteous B****" and that she had whole heartedly agreed.

And Charlotte, twisting the knife just a wee bit more, retorts that his story is easy enough to verify. She'll simply call our mother and ask her directly.

Remember directness? It is a long forgotten family quality. Gone the way of the dinosaur. So seldomly used that it shriveled up and fell off. Useless as an appendix.

She ends the call with a persona non grata type of statement and sets about calling Estelle. If Joe's hands were not shaking too badly and he managed to successfully re-dial Charlotte to try to work things out, he'd find her line engaged. Engaged in a confrontational "these words were attributed to you, can you confirm or deny having said them" call to our mother.

He'll need a few Krispy Kremes to raise his blood sugar sufficiently to drive.