Of course it welcomes us back warmly.
Warmly and with an obligatory “special Mass” on the Sunday before the first night of class.
A special Mass – so we have two RES obligations that week.
And a special Mass that is at 1 pm.
A special Mass in addition to the Masses offered at 5 pm on Saturday and 6:30 am and 8 am and 9:30 am and 11:30 am on Sunday. A special Mass that obligates all of the families that would normally spread their attendance out among the other 5 Masses or not attend at all, to come together at once, pack the church beyond capacity and leave us looking for parking spaces all over the neighborhood.
A special Mass scheduled at such an inconvenient hour that it will effectively derail any other plans we might have had for the day.
And for what? To bring us together as the RES “community?” It’s not like we can talk and get to know each other. And hello, if we wanted to talk and get to know eachother, we would have by now. And not in Church.
No, this Mass is designed to make sure we go at least this one time. So Father can implore us in his Homily to attend regularly. Which of course, he assumes that we don’t.
And just to make extra sure that we do not skip this first of two obligations…instead of enclosing the children's classroom assignments in the letter, we are informed that we will receive our classroom assignments at the end of the special Mass. (Can you imagine the mayhem?) Don’t attend and your child will be lost and humiliated the following night. How nice.
There is another similar Mass scheduled for some nonsense reason during Advent. Probably to encourage us to attend Mass on Christmas Day. Assuming again that the attraction of gifts under the tree will derail flimsier plans to attend.
On the back of this insulting little letter is a schedule of classes. Special events, field trips, days when there is no class due to a national holiday. And sprinkled in among those class days are little italicized reminders of the holy days of obligation.
Again, assuming that since we are not likely to be going to Mass, we might just miss the fact that Ash Wednesday is about to kick off the Lenten season. Yes, Lent often sneaks up and bites you on the fanny since Mardi Gras and all those ashes smeared on foreheads so often go unnoticed. Easter? Already????
But my favorite piece of helpful information is the reminder that takes the form of a verbatim passage from the school handbook. It is a statement that when in church we are in the presence of all things holy and we should dress modestly – and do similarly when we represent the parish on field trips.
Again, meant to be a thinly veiled, if veiled at all, acknowledgment that it is assumed that we do not attend Mass, and therefore must never have picked up on the habits and customs of regular church-goers. Thank goodness for the reminder! Otherwise I might have just stepped on out to Mass wearing my tube top and Daisy Dukes!
I am in a foul mood to begin with. The RES Director is going to get a very unpleasant, very direct, very confrontational piece of my mind via e-mail.
My inner Estelle is cranking to life.
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