Have I Reached the Party to Whom I Am Speaking?

Time to multi-task. I am on a deadline. Can't be late to a party! But there is news to be shared...so I do what any gal would do.

I use my shoulder to balance the phone against my face and proceed to converse as I lather up one leg at a time to shave before the shower. Then, as the shaving cream begins to harden to stone on my legs (which are now bleeding in two places each) I affix toothpaste to my toothbrush and angle the phone receiver mouthpiece toward my forehead so that I can listen to Charlotte's return rant without her having to hear (so much) the sounds of my brushing, spitting and rinsing. Then I put the phone on speaker so I can take a Ped Egg to my going-to-get-a-pedi-but-not-until-next week feet (and wish I had a belt sander), and can continue to yak with my sister and get the tootsies sandal -ready at the same time without sacrificing any of the much needed investment in grooming.

This gives us enough time to cover the following:

Joe retains the crown for being the worst guest to have ever crossed another person's threshold.

Joe can not take a hint and you practically have to collar him and walk him on his tippy-toes to his car and start it for him to get him to realize that the time to leave was hours ago.

He still does not accept responsibility for the Open door/XBox/Cat Poop debacle and remains unconvinced that he did anything even remotely offensive, in spite of all evidence and argument to the contrary.

One family member at a time, he will try to lobby support for his position as the Falsely Accused Innocent. We are short on family members so he has to bark up the same two trees pretty loudly.

At least one member of the family is maintaining the position that:

A - He was wrong.
B - It does not concern her, beyond the point of involvement in investigating the XBox use.

That would be me.

The other family member, no doubt even more beleaguered by my brother's haranguing about his raw deal, has altered her position, perhaps since she's reasonably convinced that she can convince Bill to move North with her. My mother has taken the position that:

A - Whether he's wrong or not, she is waffling, if only to get him to shut up about it.
B - She has telegraphed her vote, whether she's bluffing or not, and made a statement that has now been repeated so as to suggest that she shares a none too flattering opinion of my sister.

And this my friends, is a juicy little morsel that can not sit in the frying pan too long before losing its flavor.

So, as I step into the shower at last, Charlotte is dialing the rarely dialed cell phone that is no doubt now jumping out of my brother's pocket and causing him to break out into a flop sweat.