Where Did I Go Wrong? I Lost a Friend

And then I noticed that someone else I regularly chatted with on Facebook and who regularly messaged me privately was not so chatty. Took no notice of my posts. Had stopped messaging. Or even responding.

So I said something.  Actually it came out like a screech, more or less. If there really a bitchy howler monkey bold font, I'd have used it. Not a proud moment, in retrospect.

And that friend, to whom I give enormous credit, instead of just continuing to ignore me, wrote me back. 

This common friend, had gotten wind of some of the gossip. And in turn, had assumed I'd played a part, was a willing dance partner in the swirl of nasty, bitchy, unkind, hard boiled blather.

I asked for examples.

I was horrified at what was forwarded to me.

Some statements were attributed to me that I never even thought, much less texted.

Some statements were marginally familiar to me, but had been put in a blender, twisted, painted with a black brush, amended, embellished, spun and mused about before they'd been passed along as the truth.

Every statement, close to the truth or far from it, had been unfairly shared, unfairly credited to me, and had been shared by the friend I had trusted.

For what purpose I am not sure. I had some ideas, including insanity, insecurity, and unparalleled evil, a hidden agenda.  I just couldn't think of why she'd sacrificed me.

And my heart was broken all over again.

Years upon years of friendship rocked. Its foundation cracked. I had been so horrified that Scott could have disregarded me as he had. And now one of my dearest friends, I was learning, had done the same thing. When given a choice, she'd chosen the other path. Not the one of loyal friendship. 

I made a commitment to my other friend and to myself. I would keep my distance. Not dig deep anymore. Keep the discussion to surface topics. Kids activities, holiday festivities, musings about benign topics. Not openly hostile, but not overtly friendly.

No need to cut the cord. No need to fight it out. No need to call her on her nonsense. Keep my enemy close and observe. Untie what it was my knee jerk reaction to cut. Patience is on my side. The truth will emerge. I'd sort it out in time.