Looking at Me Through the Glass

The next day was uniquely painful. Getting my eyebrows waxed did not help matters. And it was a very bitter reminder that I am not really 22 anymore. 

In the morning, I chatted for a bit on line with Craig, and paid some bills on line, and drank a lot of coffee before I went out for a walk in the state park to clear the cobwebs from my head. I took lots of pictures, and posted them to Facebook. It was becoming a coffee table book of sorts in my phone. Same shots each week in different weather conditions and lighting. How artistic.

As I logged off of FB, I decided to read my e-mail. And there out of the blue was a note from an old friend I'd worked with, Sam.  I'd sent him a LinkedIn invitation in December when the lonely heart in me had needed human contact with people I did not need to explain myself to. He probably had not recognized my maiden name. We'd only worked together while I was married. But he'd figured it out and had sent me a lovely note. Funny, bitchy, adorable. How I'd loved working with this man.  I was quick to reply. He'd asked about everything: work, love, kids.

Sam!!!!! How I miss your unique ability to hold up your end of the bitch-fest. I work with the most humorless, uninteresting people on the planet, bar none. I spend a good portion of each day rolling my eyes and swearing under my breath. And considering workplace violence. LOL.

What I have not been through on the love front!!! I should write a tragic-comic novel. I'd make a fortune. Dated one man for 3 years, the last of which was spent trying to get rid of him as he spiraled into acute alcoholism. Oh, and got my facebook profile picture tattoed on his scrawny little atrophied thigh as a sign of his enduring albeit alcohol-soaked love for me. He died last summer (that would be the tragic part, not the comic part) and he and the tatt went into the ground,  and I could finally stop sleeping with one eye open.

Then, I dated someone for two years that I'd known in high school. Madly in love, planning on a ring at some point. Then, after hurricane Sandy, he flaked and vanished. No break up. No fight. No discussion. Poof! Gone. Carpet bombed the whole thing. Mailed my stuff to me from his house. Finis.

But my friends are fabulous, and so are my family, and I got my legs under me and have survived. I am in a great place and happy as hell. Back to snarking like a champion!

My kids are 13 and 14 now! My son is in high school! I am old but still think I am 20.

Speaking of which, went out with Toni last night and had shots and beers like a couple of 20 year olds. Hilarious. Painful getting my eyebrows waxed today but we were howling.

And how about you? How have you beeeeen?

Liza

I re-read the whole thing for typos and other unexplained madness before hitting send. And then hit the send key.

And as I did I thought that maybe I should not have. I had not seen this man in about 6 years. And in reading the summary of my life, he probably will immediately go into deep cover to avoid any further contact with me.

There is a fine line between entertainment value and scariness. I am not sure which side of the line my email fell on. I guess time will tell. And if I ever get desperate enough to go on a speed dating adventure, I should probably spend a little time re-writing my elevator speech.