Welcome to the World Wide Web

At the risk of sounding like I am a hundred years old, I have to say that I liked things better the old way.

When you had an argument or some other problem with a friend as a kid, you just argued about whatever it was, maybe got into a little physical thing like a shove in the sandbox.  Or you made yourself scarce at the playground for a while, or didn't invite the person to your next birthday party.

When we got older, some passive aggressive behavior naturally came into play. Maybe some gossip or some social undermining or making sure there wasn't a seat at the lunch table and so you had to go sit with the peanut allergy kids.  But it was live and in person, and you could tell what was happening with the people involved by the way people acted and reacted to you in person.  Snubbing. Face-making. Laughing after they'd passed you in the hall so you'd feel like some hilarious joke had just been made at your expense.

With the advent of social media and the widespread availability of smart phones, all of that has changed. And some of it has taken a decidedly dark and twisted turn toward the sinister.

Don't call me a nut who is living in the past (that would be my mother, who won't get a computer and considers email a fad).  I like that the social network tools are out there for us to use. A lot has been changed for the better by it all. For instance, I am in regular touch with friends from college and grad school that I might never have connected with again. Or maybe only by chance at a random reunion that I may not even attend because I won't know anyone. Surely not more than that.  Let's face it, people don't keep pen pals like they used to.

Young people heading off to college will never know this problem. They will never have to reconnect again - because they will never disconnect. Gone are the days when you have to give your friends your dormitory phone number when you get back home at Thanksgiving.  Smartphones have eliminated that practice - and probably a whole college town industry as well.

But there are some drawbacks.

Normally it would be almost unnecessary if not absurd to consider having an argument with, for instance, your former roommate five states away. There would be such little contact. Very little to take issue with. No immediate methods of regular correspondence or conversation that would lend themselves to the kind of interactions that lead to disagreements.

But with the social network you can easily have the opportunity, access and motivation for such things. Lovely.

Bullying can be done completely under the radar but on the grid. No one has to push you into your locker at school. They can figuratively punch you in the teeth on line. With an audience. And your mother will never know.

And there is no longer a need to whisper juicy tidbits of gossip by the water cooler or over the bathroom stall in the ladies room. It can be done without detection. From a distance. All through the magic of messaging and texts. Your reputation can be unraveling or your relationship undermined quietly, privately and in writing - all in cyberspace.

Holy crap.