A Dose of Reality

I am swinging on that thread of hope all through the day and it is good for me. I am starving for contact with Scott and it was the familiar note I'd hope he'd strike again.

But on the drive home, as I plan to call him, I get the sinking feeling that my instincts were right from the start. That I really have been kidding myself. The text was friendly. It did not smack of anything more than that. After days of silence, at a minimum, there should have been a "Love you," or a "XOXO" somewhere.

I am nervous. I almost want to write down my delivery so that if he does answer the phone, I'd be prepared. I'd ask him how we got to this place where we're not talking. Are we through or are we just in a little puddle of some kind. What does he need from me? What would make it right?

I am greeted at the door by my jubilant daughter, Hil. She has just looked at the PowerSchool portal and final quarter grades have been posted. All As. Eight of them. Straight A Honor Roll!  She is thrilled.

And just who does she want to call?  Charlotte or course, and Scott.

She goes to the house phone and calls Scott.

She makes a face because it goes to voice mail.

She digs her phone out of her backpack and texts him.

"Hey, I just tried to call you! I got straight As!"

Within seconds he texts right back.

"Awesome!"

 Hil brings me the phone and shows me. She is elated. "Mom, you should call him now. He has his phone. He just texted me."

And I explain to her that I won't call because he won't answer. He apparently does not want to talk to me, and to be honest, he did not answer her call from the house phone because he thought it was me calling. I have to face facts. He just does not want to talk right now.

The bright look of hope washes from her face. "It's okay, Mom. How about I paint your nails tonight?"