They Can't Be Serious

Has this ridiculous school never heard of the Americans with Disabilities Act?  Are they out of their minds?

I turn to Hil and tell her there is no way on God's green Earth that I am signing the "piece of paper," as she called it.

She crinkles up her forehead and says that if I don't, then she won't be able to use the elevator and will have to take the steps with her backpack and crutches. (I am waiting for her to say something about going uphill barefoot in the snow...)

I tell her that I will sign the paper but I need to write a terse little note asking for a phone call.

She asks me what "terse" means.

I tell her that it means, at least in this case, that the principal will be red faced and swearing under his breath when he reads it. It won't be very nice.

Again, with the crinkled brow, she says, "You know I have to hand this to the secretary." (I am imagining sweaty Beatrice gasping.)

I tell her I'll put it in an envelope so she can convincingly say that she has not read any of her mother's insulting little comments that flirt with the very edge of decency.

We have a deal.

In my most artsy handwriting, which to me suggests loudness, I scrawl the following:

"This is absolutely preposterous. Once again you have managed to focus your attention and take a hard line on something completely stupid and continue to avoid doing anything meaningful about the bullying that goes on every day right under your noses. You will absolutely not discipline my child without my specific  permission and will not hold her accountable for the conduct of any of the other little derelicts on the elevator. Have you heard of the ADA?  Look it up. I expect a phone call by the close of business."