I'll Get You, My Pretty

As incompetent people often do when they are frustrated with their lack of ability, McDuff gets defensive and in a poorly constructed email, insists that he is perfectly capable and more than willing to resolve this problem, but oh, go ahead, do what you want to do. 

There is a part of me that truly believes that he is hoping I do go to the police independently. That way he can wash his hands of it and won't be forced to demonstrate his complete lack of competence on a larger stage.  I am a little confused at his willingness to let another agency handle the matter, though.  I thought that in a job like his, there are certain obligations. A person doesn't get to choose what they'd like to deal with. You get what comes your way.  It's public school. You get what the public dishes out. And as such, sometimes you are the windshield, and sometimes you are the bug.

While I carefully compose my secret dragon-slaying email to the school officials, I decide to put McDuff in a flop sweat of my own creation.  Pee in his pool. Take no prisoners in comments about him. For if a disparaging comment is good for the goose, it sure as Hell is going to be just fine for the gander. I have Estelle to thank for that line of thinking.  Cross a boundary with me, and you better be prepared for a similar flagrant violation of your own. Put yourself between me and my child and I will hurl a flaming bag of turds right across your moat and land it squarely on your dining room table for your family to see. So let's not do that again, shall we?

Poison pen in hand, I flip open the laptop and put in some familiar email addresses. Those of the Superintendent, the building principal and Mrs. Nilan. I write:

Hil, returned to my home on Friday and we have discussed last week's events.

Mrs. Nilan, Hil is extremely uncomfortable with Esther's freedom to come and sit by her in Art class and engage the students seated around her and stare at her. I need to insist that other arrangements be made. Esther has a little too much freedom to move about the class and act out. My main concern is that this does not become a social issue for Hil. Please handle this in such a way that it does not harm her further. She is very appreciative of your continued support.

Mrs. Reitano and Dr. Klinghoffer, I must insist that Dr. McDuff shall have no further contact with Hilary and not discuss this situation with her without me present. Dr. McDuff has become part of the problem and is a harasser himself. Hil's perception, based on her interactions with him, are:

- He is protecting Esther and not her or the other victims

- He is pressuring her to not report this incident formally in order to cover it up

- He is upset with her for making an issue of the way she was harassed

In a conversation he had with Hilary in which he told her he had provided me with a report for her to complete, he told her that she did not have to complete it if she did not want to, adding "And I don't think that you do..."

How dare he try to pressure her? His duty is to protect her, not to try to assert influence over her decision about something this serious to meet his own agenda, and to coerce her to go against the advice of her mother. His behavior suggests to her that victims who report incidents can expect to be further victimized by the system.

Hil, in effort to shift pressure from herself, stated to Dr. McDuff that her mother is not taking this lightly. Dr. McDuff's misguided response was to make a comment about me to Hil, which she did not understand and perceived to be negative. Again, how dare he? He should understand that a child feeling as vulnerable as Hil is at this point should not have to also feel that her champion is being disparaged by someone with his perceived authority. How powerless she must have felt. Shame on him. Does he have any recognition of the boundary he crossed or the how abusive it was to do that?

This is a very serious, reportable issue and you are enabling the perpetrators. It is completely irresponsible not to have acted competently. The fact that McDuff has no comprehension of the situation compels me to seek disciplinary action against him. The school has completely lost my trust.

I have taken this situation to more competent authorities. They will contact you directly. Again I have to say, that if the district had more effective and readily available policies on such matters, these students would have known exactly what to report and how. Instead, they are left to wonder, and seek the poor advice of Dr. McDuff.

Please confirm that you have received this e-mail and that Dr. McDuff will have no further contact with my children, Hilary and Patrick Royal.

Hilary will be filing a formal complaint via your complaint form. I will be sending it electronically on her behalf, and copying other parties so that when Dr. McDuff loses it as he has lost other important reports, there is a way to recover it.

Please do not contact me by phone. I would like to maintain written record of all exchanges on this topic.

Send.