A Three Ring Circus

Eventually, I connect with Charlotte. She has missed two calls from Mom. Hello, Mom, we are all working and really can't make your meltdown a priority at the moment.

Charlotte, dutiful as ever, believes she will have to return the call. It is never clear to me whether she does this out of a sense of duty or a need to avoid further wrath for not doing so. We are different this way. I don't feel a sense of obligation and don't really care about the wrath. Call, write, get in your car and drive to my house from the Sunny South. Your hissy fit doesn't mean I have to have one.

She asks me if I feel differently now about her sharing all of Bill's nasty comments with Mom. And actually, I do. Mom wants to take me to task for a "cold reception" when a) it was not cold, it was cordial. If she were looking for tears of joy she needs to get to know her kids better, and b) if it was cold, perhaps it was warranted, based on the level of love and affection I evidently enjoy from their camp. Am I supposed to kiss the ass that dumps all over me when I am not there? (I really didn't intend to conjure up that visual image, sorry.)

And during this conversation Charlotte reveals one more little tidbit.(which makes me think there are dozens more that she has spared me from having to deal with) And of course it has to do with the flippin' shelves.

She says that Bill told her that he really didn't want to give me any of the G-D shelves, and that Estelle made him but do it, but he can't bring himself to do it so he asked Charlotte to pick out two for Mom to give to me.

And he was complaining about the level of enthusiasm in my expression of gratitude?

I tell her that if she feels it will make a difference, she has the green light to spill all the beans she sees fit to spill. But I caution her. Mom has made a lifetime of bad choices when it came to men with whom to share her life. Over and over, she chose men, perhaps my Dad included, who could take care of her financially, or from whom she could get what she needed - a roof over her head, a car, club memebership, whatever - but who were not necessarily good to her or for her in other ways. The hand-in-glove relationship would be solidified by the fact that she would look presentable on their arms, or dote on them and take care of them. Keep a nice home. Participate in their stupid hobbies. Indulge them. They would come to need each other.

And for that reason, Mom will not believe what Charlotte says about Bill because she'd have to confront him. And that places her very livelihood at risk. So to make it all make sense, she will have to turn the tables on Charlotte. Make her out to be a liar. A troublemaker. In cahoots with her wicked sister.

She still has the green light, but with a caution flag. I don't want her to place herself in peril without knowing the full weight of the risk.