Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

I labor over whether to not to call Mom, sufficiently to derail any genuine productivity at the office. I am thankful that Scott texts me. Even more thankful that on his way home from an appointment, he has elected to stop by to say, "Hello."

I am jonesing for a cup of coffee from the cafe in the lobby (the free coffee in our lunch room could be easily be mistaken for a potful of waste water from a treatment plant) and I meet Scott in the lobby. Fed him all the tasty morsels of the latest crap sandwich I'd been served by Mom. Tell him about my quandary. To call or not to call.

He listens patiently and after a moment or two of reflection says, "Why don't you just NOT call her, and wait for her to call you a second time. Then you can tell her exactly how you feel but you haven't started the trouble by doing the dialing."

It really is that simple.

After Scott leaves, I get my coffee, get my blood flowing and text Charlotte the plan. It isn't totally satisfying, but it makes me feel better to not have to come out swinging. I will throw my punches after she throws one first.

Then I text Joe. It's not that I don't want him to have the right advice. It is that I am not interested in participating in resolving his problem. If I show him the slightest willingness, he will dump it all on me. A text maintains distance. I write:

"Mom wants me to call you with advice. My only advice is that you hire a lawyer who specializes in matrimonial law. Advice from ANYONE else, including me, is of no value."

A few hours go by and he texts back. "She called me from work last night and said that she still wants me in her life."

And then "I am really confused?" (Is that a question?)

I don't reply. Mary-ellen is a flake and I am convinced all of her carrying on is merely posturing. She is all talk and very little follow-through. I really think she can't communicate and threatens and pushes just to elicit some reaction or change or recognition from Joe. And he is just too dim to get it.

I have no time for this...but I am struck by his first text. Mary-ellen called to say she still wants him in her life?

That doesn't sound like she was stirring the pot as Mom had described.

So who is doing the pot stirring?