Kitty Bits

It is not a restful night. Kitty meows a lot. And the dogs, at least four of the five, come a-running to see what the matter is with their youngest little family addition. I remember when we brought Cooper home. They did the same thing.  It can get very noisy.

Eventually, I go and get the kitten and bring her into the bed. I am deathly afraid of rolling over on her/him squishing her/him. I lay on my back and it tucks in under my chin and immediately begins to purr. And falls completely and soundly asleep.  Eventually, so do I, with a warm live scarf that only occasionally digs a nail into my jugular.

It is not the best night but I've had two children so half sleep is not the worst I've endured. Certainly nothing me and the Keurig machine can't fix. 

I am working from Scott's house so I have set up the command center. Iphone. Blackberry. Laptop.  Ipad. Files and notebooks. I have everything spread out on the counter in front of me...and the kitten behind me in the kitty condo. 

Every so often, between conference calls that are occasionally punctuated with meows, I take my phone and laptop into the bedroom to let the kitten run about more freely.  On one of these sojourns, I text James about the kitten. 

He writes back, "Do we know what it is yet?" 

"No, I am still perplexed by the parts. How can they be so confusing?"

He writes back, "That's because a cat's penis is not on the outside."

I love the way some people use the proper names of naughty parts with such ease. And a straight face. And without having to whisper. James must have grown up in a naked house. 

He continues, "Don't panic. Eventually you'll figure it out. You can just not name Kitty until it is a little older. And then either there will magically appear a set of testicles or not."

Yep. Definitely grew up in a naked house.

I secretly was hoping that he'd offer to take a look and ask me to snap a picture of the cat's crotch on my cell phone and text it to him. Could one of us get arrested for that? 

He doesn't offer. He just says that it would be easier if the cats could just talk. 

Yes it would be.

But I have a stroke of genius. Scott's type of genius. He always consults YouTube for instructions on the most obscure things.  How to change the spark plugs on a 2008 Toyota FJ Cruiser. How to repair a refrigerator fan. How to install a gas range.

I search YouTube for "How to tell if my kitten is a female or male."

Hundreds of videos come up as matches. Do people sit around making these wacky instructional videos all day?  Can anyone just put anything out there?  What if they decide to give you wrong information. Like the hip bone's connected to the ankle bone?  Do you have to be skeptical? Hil has learned how to braid her hair from YouTube.  It is a whole untouched frontier for me. 

Someone calling herself "Dr. Wendy" appears to be the best match.  I am in awe as Dr. Wendy demonstrates how she, a veterinarian, determines the genders of her young patients.  It is exceptionally complicated and requires a couple of viewings, my glasses and a little guess work.

But after three consecutive views of Dr. Wendy's Gender Determining Tricks of the Veterinary Trade, I very confidently take to Facebook.

I post the picture of the kitten Scott first sent to me.  And then I write, "Meet Gidget!"

It's a girl!