Etiquette, Schmetiquette

Let's all try to remember: It is an amusement park, not a restaurant.  The focus is on amusement rides, not your dining experience. A little perspective would help a lot of people.

The kids and I wait in lines and order food and all meet again in the designated place.  Everyone has managed to find some version of fast food that they find appealing, even if it only barely qualifies as "fast" or as "food."  To say nothing of the price.

We are lucky to find a vacant table in one of the seating areas to sit and discuss all the fun we've been having and how we'd like to spend the next few hours. We are seated at a table that is partially shaded by a tree, facing the water park main attractions with an easy return walk if we decide to stay in our suits and continue to splash around a bit more.

It is the lunch rush and I am thankful that the lines at the concessions were only as long as they were when we'd joined in.  They are much longer now as the traditional lunch hour is in full swing. 

And this is when I notice that seating is at a premium.  And some astonishing rudeness.

There is a woman sitting at a table near us with nothing in front of her but her Kindle. She is reading. Just reading. At a table just like ours. As throngs of people walk by in search of someplace to roost and eat the very expensive food they've just purchased.

I look at our table, which is square with benches attached. It is perfectly suited for 4 people, but could easily seat twice that, or even more if some of the people were young children.

This woman has sat, pretending to not notice that she is hogging prime real estate as large families, families with young children, small groups, all meander by looking for a place to sit for 10 minutes and eat before dashing off to the next attraction. 

Some of them linger nearby and comment, and she refuses to look up. (I'd love to know what she is reading.)  Some of them stand under the tree that shades our table and try to get comfortable sitting at its roots.  Still she remains enthralled with her book. One woman walked by twice with a large tray of food precariously balancing on one hand and her shoulder bag on her shoulder about to fall off, while her other hand held tightly to the antsy little boy with her, who appeared to be about 4 years old, and about at his wits end. I am about to wave her down and tell her she can sit with us when someone finally decides to part with their seat and offer it to her, instead of sitting a while longer to finish their soda.  When we left, Book Lady was still reading, without a care in the world.  I hope someone looking for a seat gave her Hell for it.

The kids and I decide to go to the Wave Pool. The music is loud and the atmosphere is fun.  And evidently so is the people watching.

And the chair etiquette.

Since we all will be in the pool, we find one empty chair and place our towels on it, and our flip flops under it.  I have already ditched any valuables in the locker.

When we return more than an hour later to get our stuff, dry off and head to the changing rooms to put on dry things, we are confronted by a woman who has chosen our seat to sit on. 

And won't move.

I approach her with the kids and say politely, "Hello, sorry to disturb you, but the things on that chair belong to us."

She looks up. I am wondering if she does not speak the same language. My words do not seem to register.

I make eye contact and point to the shoes under the chair as I say, "The shoes and towels and things that are on that chair are ours."

"OK," she says. Without moving.

No language barrier, but clearly a comprehension problem.

"We'd like to get them." I say.  And to head off the vacant reaction, I say, "And use them. Right now... we're leaving."

Incredulously, she does not rise from the seat. Nor does she jump up apologetically and make room for us to get to the chair.

Instead she, at a glacial pace, proceeds to hand each towel to us one by one. And then when I tell her that we'll need our shoes and gesture as though I am mad enough to just reach under her sizable ass to retrieve them myself, hands each flip flop to me one at a time, making a facial gesture with each hand off that seems to ask if what she is handing me is the correct article. She never once gives a thought to moving to the next chair, which like ours is only occupied by stuff, not an actual live person, who might protest, much like ours had been when she perched on it.

She is not at all moved by Hil's contorted facial expression.  And not at all put off by my comment that all of this could have been less inconvenient for everyone had she just stood for a moment.  She must be related to the Kindle Lady at the food court.

But her outrageous behavior could not begin to eclipse the freak show that had been our time IN the wave pool. Her conduct was simply the candles on the cake.