Set and Match

I've expertly painted McDuff into a corner, but I have to give him credit for his tenacity. I suppose everyone is tenacious in a fight for his life. Or the preservation of his professional credibility. Which was unraveling like a cheap sweater before his eyes.

He doesn't answer my question and instead poses one of his own. He hands me the "work in progress" investigation tool he is laboring to create. Michelangelo spent less time on the Sistine Chapel, but it is his handiwork and he's proud of it. So proud that evidently it will not even be put into use until it is perfected. Jesus.

Before he lets me take it from him, he warns me that he can't let me keep it. (Oh darn. I'd hoped for another souvenir.) Because God only knows what I'd do with a precious little work of art like that. He points to the second page where the questionnaire asks the person lodging the complaint to check a box indicating which legal definition of Bullying best describes what they are reporting.

What? I can see my kids looking at this. "Ummm, Dr. McDuff, there isn't a box that says 'just got my ass handed to me on the playground."

I look at it and ask "You want me to pick which one of these legal definitions best matches what Pat just went through? Which aspect, specifically? The hitting or the ostracizing or the intimidation or the threats? You want to know which one of these neat little definitions most closely matches all of that?" I laugh. "Can I check more than one? Is there a place to answer with a free form statement?"

I am sure he's joking but he's not. He's dead serious. He wants to prove that I am making a Federal case out of a situation that doesn't meet the legal definition of bullying.

What a colossal idiot.

I hand back his form. "Put your form away. This thing needs more than "tweaking." First of all, what happened with Pat and these other three little SOBs covers all of the bases..."

He has the audacity to cut me off. "Well no, the legal definition says it has to be pervasive, repetitive, and serve to interfere..."

I cut him off.

"First of all, it does meet the legal definition, in every interpretation. Secondly, I don't actually think it matters, AT ALL, whether it does or it doesn't. (I'm getting a little louder than conversation tone, now.) If you are suggesting that you were correct to do nothing of import in this situation because you aren't completely convinced that it is actually Bullying according to Websters, then you are worse off than I'd imagined. My child was struck repeatedly by another child. He was ostracized and harassed and intimidated. Of course it had the "effect of interfering with his ability to learn." (I'm making little sarcastic air quotes now and rolling my eyes) But even if it hadn't, isn't what happened to him just plain wrong? Isn't that enough to get your attention? Are you seriously going to sit here and say to some student, 'I'm sorry that isn't really Bullying under the law until you've been spat on at least twice and have visited the counselor's office in tears. Come see me when you have more to report.' Can't it just be that it's wrong? And if it rises to the level that meets the definition of Bullying, then that's really, really wrong? Are you trying to tell me that you are not obligated to respond to things that don't meet the legal definition? Please. Tell me you are joking."

Silence. For about 15 very tense seconds.

Notetaker responds first. Once she wipes the egg from her face. "Of course that's not what we are saying."

"I thought not."

I continue, recalling that we've all sat in horror watching news stories where people stand idly by while someone gets mugged and we think, as we clutch our pearls, what horrible people they must be. Who raised these people? And that until this school sends a message to our kids that we are responsible for creating the sense of pride and respectfulness that defines our community and take a stance against all disrespectful acts, whether they are covered by the law or not, then we have failed to teach them anything about citizenship at its most basic form and run the risk of our children becoming those bystanders. Another "Not My Problem" generation.

I offer that I am prepared to be part of the solution. I have copies of beautifully written policies from other more prepared school districts. I have comprehensive programs to suggest to them. I have tools that I have seen other teachers use that they can borrow. I will help them get to where they need to be with their program and their presentation, but I've also just become their biggest nightmare. Because now that I know what I know, I will not take my foot off the gas until I am sure that they are engaging their students in discussions about Bullying and proactively taking effective, demonstrative steps to eliminate it from campus.

They thank me profusely and the thank yous sound more like "Wow, thanks for noticing that our panties are down around our ankles. Please leave now." We close the meeting by McDuff rifling through several dozen more files in search of Pat's complaints. He still can't find them. The volume of reports is astonishing. I tell him I am sure he'll make it a priority to lay his hands on them in time to follow through and close the file appropriately. He looks at me like I'm his mother and just caught him in a lie. I want him to know this is not my final word on the issue.

I gather my things, shake his hand and stride out the door, wishing Sweaty Beatrice a nice weekend on the way out.

As I step out into the sunshine, I am a little surprised to find that my hands are shaking.