Exhibit L, for Lunatic

The kids are pretty rattled from the night before. I decide to talk over the situation with a counselor they talk with. She knows all the dynamics. I need not explain much. She can visualize the whole scene. She's met The Beast.

She tells me two things.

1 - The next time he does anything remotely similar (e.g. takes the kids, carries on like a nut case on my property, gets aggressive) call 911. Go on record with the police. He is not my spouse and has no more right to terrorize me or the kids in my home than the man in the moon. The custody thing will not play out in his favor either.

and 2 - Send him an email detailing the ground rules. Let him take it to his lawyer if he wants. Let him sit and explain his circus act and the liberties he feels he has the right to take. His lawyer is a whack job too, but she's at least educated about these things. Even she would have to advise him not to poke Mama Bear and expect not to survive without a devastating claw across his ugly face.

It is nice to have the counselor's support. I am only too happy to write the e-mail:

Lars –

In light of what transpired the other day, I need to let you know that I am establishing ground rules for the children while they are in my care.

Phone calls to and from you will be limited to 1 per day. I show you and the children this courtesy when they are with you as a way to let them fully live their life with you, and I expect the same courtesy. The constant intrusion is disruptive in many ways to all of us. I am holding the children responsible for setting those limits with you and will follow up daily. If you insist that they call you when they have arrived home from school, that will be the only call. Any additional calls will be with my permission only.

Visits and trips on my custody week. – There will be no further intrusions on their time with me. You violated everyone’s trust the other afternoon, and the results were horrific. You have no idea the upsetment you caused the children with your deceit, and your berating Patrick, and your bullying technique with me. The children have been told and understand that unless they have heard specifically from me that they are to go with you or with Liza, they are not to answer the door for you or go with you anywhere.

Scouts – I will allow the trip that is already planned, and attendance with you at this Thursday's meeting, but will reconsider future commitments based on your cooperation with the calls etc. Effective with the meeting in two weeks, I will take Pat to Scout meetings on my weeks. Please make sure his uniform comes home with him next week so that he is not embarrassed. Let me know if you are unwilling to take Pat this week and I will see that he gets there.

As always, homework, attendance at school and other similar daily decisions while they are with me are my jurisdiction entirely. Your input is unwelcome and should not be shared with the children or with me. Your attempts to rule my home from afar have to stop. You do nothing but cause fear in the kids with your constant interference. If the children ask you your opinion about such matters, your response should convey that it is my decision. This is what I do with them when they ask me to weigh in on matters that pertain to you.

You consistently violate boundaries, Lars, and I need to set limits on what the children and I will accept.

You will notice that I've copied the children's counselor as a matter of record. I've kept her apprised of the situation so you are welcome to discuss it with her should you so desire.

Right. Like that will ever happen. Lars avoids the counselor like a vampire avoids the sun. He knows any information she has could lead to his undoing.

As it should be. Loon that he is.