The Fine Print

A few hours later, as I sit in a meeting, my phone rings. It is the familiar school district main number. I let it go to voicemail. If I am going to have a conversation on this topic, it will not be in hushed tones as I step politely into a corridor to speak and have to mind my Ps and Qs. It will be a closed door verbal brawl that in which I want the freedom to be able to really come out swinging for the fences. The speed with which the email has been answered suggests that I have either gotten someone's attention or they are passing this issue off as a casual, one phone call problem.

I will be sure to enlighten them.

I can see that a message has been left. And then I start to panic. What if it is not a School Board member or one of the Supers? What if it is the school nurse or counselor trying to reach me about an issue with Pat or Hil?

And here I am stepping politely into a corridor to pick up a message that I might have to return in hushed tones while minding my Ps and Qs anyway.

It is not the nurse or counselor. It is the Assistant Superintendent who must have drawn the short straw and has to return my phone call.

It is Mr. Rotelli and he thinks that long, verbose message is about resolving a bullying situation with Pat.

No, moron. After three visits to school and a dozen emails, I took care of that myself, no thanks to Team McDuff. And now it has become abundantly clear that you did not read my letter beyond the first paragraph. Glad it got your attention, sorry you missed the entire point of the letter I took the time to carefully and sucinctly articulate. What a boob.

After my meeting as I drive home, I decide to return Rotelli's call. It is nearly 6 pm when I do and I am surprised that he answers his phone.

I introduce myself, politely but not warmly. We are no way near through and I don't want him to think he can lean back in his chair with his Hush Puppies up on the blotter.

I tell him that my letter was not about a current bullying situation involving my son. And that I took care of that myself, thank you very much. And then I launch into the topic at hand.

While resolving the situation with Pat and Kevin, I smelled smoke and went looking for fire, and was shocked and appalled to find how poorly prepared the school was to handle such a routine Middle School situation and what little policies and procedures had been developed and implemented in a day and age where Bullying was making headline news on a weekly if not dail basis.

Rotelli assured me that there was a policy in place and in fact, as Bullying has changed and evolved over the years, the policy had been updated and tweaked regularly so as to keep pace with the problems du jour.

I listened patiently and then responded the moment he stopped prattling on and on about what a great system he had in place.

"Mr. Rotelli, I would LOVE to be proven wrong. But if you have such a great system in place - one that is tweaked and updated and is so highly evolved, my question is, "Why is Dr. McDuff unaware of it, or more importantly, is he aware of it and chosen to reject it at the expense of the Middle Schoolers in his jurisdiction?"

He could not answer that question but he'd love to talk to me about it.

I suggest that we are talking now and can continue for as long as he'd like.

He'd like to meet with me in person.

Of course he does. Pulling the working parent away from the office is the school's best avoidance tactic. They know that most of the time, the parent isn't invested enough to take time off for such nonsense.

I make a deal.

"Mr. Rotelli, I work in another state. I have already wasted countless work hours resolving a situation the school was not competent to handle. We can either continue to discuss this by phone and email as I'd prefer, or I can meet with you. But if it is the latter, we are going to do so at my convenience enitirely. I have a conference for my daughter that will be scheduled in two weeks. When I know the date and time of my appointment, I will ask that you accommodate a meeting with me that same day."

Deal.