T.G.I.G.W.

With the Bad Date behind me and Girls Weekend in front of me and a glass of wine in me, I am content to just move forward with Life. I say goodnight to Charlotte (Griff is long gone) and hit the road. Tomorrow begins a 4 day weekend of pure fun and I need my beauty sleep.

I come home and first spend a little quality time with the cats. My little furry companions that the kids tell me meow incessantly for 10 minutes every time I leave the house. I suppose it happens all the time. No one is usually there to hear it. I wonder what they do when I leave for a whole weekend? It makes me sad to think about it. So I make up for it by giving them treats and scratching their little baby heads and saying little unintelligible things with my lips protruding like a duck.

I also go through and carefully check that every stone has been artfully turned in the Packing The Suitcase Department.

I have a different bikini for each day. That means four. What if we run into the same people two days in a row? Can. Not. Repeat.

I have a pool "outfit" that coordinates with each bikini. These pieces are chosen so that they look like I just threw them on but they are really very carefully selected not to clash with the bathing suit, to look really hip and casual, and to flatter all that there is to flatter and conceal the more unworthy parts. And to look like I made no such effort at doing so.

I have flip flops or sandals to go with each. Natch. Come on. What would you do?

I have a casual and a dressy outfit for each night. Right down to the shoes. You never know where we'll feel like hanging. I don't want to be stuck in a a Lilly Pulitzer dress at the dive bar or wearing Daisy Dukes at the shoreline equivalent of the Ritz Carlton. Must have CHOICES.

I have every accoutrement and notion known to man to make sure I am shaven, buffed, toned and moisturized to perfection and the hair is frizz-free and fabulous. The full arsenal of makeup products has been replenished and packed.

I have carefully selected and coordinated every piece of jewelry to go with every variation of outfit. I will be jingle-jangle-jingling and highly polished all weekend. It's a lot of jewelry.

My suitcase easily weighs more than the average second grader.

But in the morning, I take a 5 mile walk, shower, perfect my appearance, don bikini No. 1 and the coordinating poolside ensemble, and sling the overstuffed suitcase into my car. I am on the road in record time and will be poolside in time for lunch.

Ninety minutes later, I am practically hyperventilating as I circle the block like a vulture. Parking places are a rare delicacy at this hour of the day and I am having a hard time being this close and not being part of the fun yet.

Joy texts me. She wants to know my ETA and should they wait for me for lunch. I tell her I am at the same Longitude and Latitude as she is but sans parking space. And like magic, a space opens before me like a little gift from heaven. I text her that I will join them in only as many minutes as it takes me to flip and flop with my beach bag in hand to the table.

I walk through the lobby moments later and continue to the pool deck where the outdoor tables are set for the optimal tanning/dining experience. Joy, Jill and Penny have just taken a seat and at once are on their feet to greet me with hugs and kisses and the usual compliments laced with smart assed comments.

And again, like magic, the waitress appears at the table with a round of beers. The girls have taken the liberty of ordering one for me. Friends so rare.

We toast and take our first sips. Time to catch up. Jack and the Date from Hell will be the first to be rehashed and raked over the hot coals.

But wait. It's been a long time since I've seen Penny. She asks if I am still seeing Scott.

What? Oh Pretty Penny, do I have a story for you! And now that I have reached a point of complete indifference, I will dish all the most hilarious details that go along with the horror story. I will be center stage for a while. Better order a second round now.

Let the weekend begin!