Dancing Shoes

I call a trusted former colleague to stop the buzzing in my head and to gain composure. She just left the company five months earlier. Knows the political landscape. More importantly, the landmines. She's kept her ear to the ground since leaving and knows things are worsening. She's practical. She's is unflinching in her support of me. She is sane. And positive. These are things I need right now as I drive back over the bridge. So I am not compelled to drive off of it.

She tells me that this is an opportunity. With Scott in my past and the horizon stretched out in front of me, why stay in a crap job where I spend half the day banging my head against the wall and the other half apologizing for the noise?

She is fearless. That's why we were great cooks sharing the same kitchen.  She motivates me out of my sniveling, shriveling, down-trodden self and gives me a glove so I can get in the game. reminds me how much smarter I am than any of them.  I am a behemoth. I need to start thinking like one.

By the time I get home, I am back in the saddle. I call Charlotte to tell her the news.  Tell her not to put on her super hero cape just yet.  I am going to make lemonade from the lemons I was just pelted with and throw in a splash of Jack Daniels for fun.

Don is right. I have a decision to make. But not the one he thinks I have to make.  It is not a Should I Stay or Should I Go moment so artfully described by the classic Kinks tune. They had it right, though. "If I go there will be trouble. An' if I stay it will be double." (Not the pinnacle of creative writing but they nailed it here.)

No. I know I need to leave. What I need to figure out is how and when.  I need a plan. I need it to work.  I need to turn the tables and outsmart the fox, even though I am not entirely sure who the fox is at the moment. 

The only thing I am sure of is this:  I would rather dance with the devil I know versus the devil I don't know.  And while Don is most predictably going to be loyal to himself and cover his own derriere, he has loyalty to me, too. More so than the other ladies at the dance. 

I need to choreograph the dance. And I need to know the dance so well I can dance it gracefully under pressure. 

Time to put on my dancing shoes.