The Call of Duty

In the meantime, something terrible has happened.

At some point, amid all the running around in all manner of weather and seeing all manner of sights, I miss a call from Del, Toni's husband.

Let's be honest. It is never a good thing when your dear friend's family member calls you instead of the friend herself. It is not likely that he's calling with good news. The husband doesn't call to tell you about a new baby, or a promotion, or invite you out to celebrate her boob job over cocktails.

And, he called from her phone. Something about that completely unsettles me.

I retreat to a little corner of privacy to call Del back. But first I need to listen to his message. On the hope that he, against all odds, was calling to invite me to a surprise party. How old will she be this year? Nevermind. it's a longshot.

The message is short. But Del's voice gives him away. Measured. Serious. Dare I say "grave?" Clearly he's not calling to see if I can make it to a last minute karaoke party.

I call him back on one of the two numbers he's left.

Two numbers. It's important. Oh, crap.

I leave a message on the first. I mirror Del's seriousness. Then I call the second number. He answers right away and I am bracing for the worst. I am sure it is bad news. I am sure it is about Toni's dear mother.  I am immediately remembering her at Toni's Dad's funeral. And at Toni's wedding. And how sweet she was to me each time I bumped into her when I was getting married. Such a Mom. Toni and Del and I were just talking about her on a recent happy hour excursion. Quite a character. I hope she's okay, but a call like this isn't usually simply to update anyone on anyone else's bunion surgery or new dentures.

I stiffen my back as Del and I plow through the normal courtesies.

And then he says, he has some awful news.

And I have that sinking feeling that unfortunately I was right.

And he begins his practiced, artistic, thespian delivery of the news he's clearly delivered a few times now. And as I listen for the words I am sure he's about to say, he doesn't say them.

I'd been wrong. I am stammering to ask him to repeat them. Rewind. Please, start over, and slow it down when you get to that last part.

Oh. My. Just when you have prepared for the worst, Life throws you a curve, and the unimaginable happens.

I am standing with the phone pressed to my head, struggling to make sense of the devastating news Del has been assigned to carrier-pigeon all through the entries of their joint address book.

And for the first time in ages, I am unable to breathe or speak or even think. All I hear is the roaring of blood through the vessels in my head and I am sure I am about to faint.