Funeral for a Friend

Indeed something terrible has happened. Terrible and unexpected. Terrible, and unexpected, and unimaginable.

Toni's dear sister, Lyla has had a terrible thing happen. A stroke. A big one. And while traveling no less. Spending a few days with their brother and his family, on a blissfully, peaceful island where Lyla and her husband have a secluded little villa to escape to once in a while.

But let's face it, not the place to be if you need serious, urgent medical care.

Though her husband was not with her, she was among family who love her, and they were, at this moment, waiting to see what would happen, praying for a miracle, bracing themselves for the inevitable. The outcome, short of a truly miraculous, defying all medical odds reversal of events, would surely be grave. Lyla, to all reasonable people, was dead. The actual loss of life was just a detail.  She would never wake again.

And I am immediately crying. And so is Del. And I feel terrible for making him crack like that. But this is the power of friendship. You know each other's hearts and have no need to shield them from each other. The exposure is innate and natural. 

I focus on practical things. How can I help? Where is Lyla now? Where is Toni and who is holding her hand? What does she need? What about their mother? My God she just buried her husband! This is crazy! The poor woman! (It is obviously not innate and natural for me to focus on the practical for very long.)

Del and his broad, loud overwhelming family, and all of Lyla's friends have asked the same things and feel equally as helpless to find that Lyla is still out of the country, her husband has flown to be with her as she leaves this world, and Toni's brother and his family are handling all the logistics of this unthinkable nightmare.

And for now, I can do almost nothing. Call a few friends of Toni's for Del to spare him the agony. Sit and wait for details to unfold. We end the phone call with words of kindness, kisses for everyone, and  a promise of constant prayers. 

And in between the phone calls to friends and the dribbling in of information, I have endless stretches of time. Time to be alone in my own head. And the thoughts of what Toni must be feeling scare me to death.