Flight of Fancy

With my vanity woes sorted out, I settled in for a long pair of flights. The Keys to Atlanta, Atlanta to home. For such short distances, the rides seem endless. Both flights are full and people are defiantly ignoring the bag size and number limitations. If they are lucky enough to board early, they hog the overhead space and will only gate check or place a bag at their feet if forced. I am forever amazed by the rudeness of people in such situations. We are all on this plane together, people. Show some courtesy. If you were so friggin' important you'd be on a chartered flight, not on a commercial flight in steerage next to the chemical toilet.

I refuse to read my book. Well, after 6 pages when I realize it will be a slow read and I won't have plowed through it by the time we touch down at home. The Sky Mall mag has not changed since our flight on Saturday and I am no more intrigued by San Antonio's dining out scene than I was 5 days ago. What do I care if Tinto makes the best darn gazpacho in the Lone Star State? I will never dine there.

I begin to fiddle with the electronic screen in front of me - conveniently embedded in the back of the chair of the passenger in front of me. There are loads of games and entertainment features to choose from. Most of them at a per game or per view cost. I can see how someone would be so stir crazy that they'd just swipe a credit card and run up a huge tab out of desperation. But there are a few free games, most notably the plane-wide, passenger vs. passenger trivia game that pits people on the flight against each other in a trivia game.

The best part is, you are identified by your name and row/seat information. You get to decide who around you is an idiot!

I join the game late and only get a few answers in before the game ends. But it seems kind of fun, so I join the next game.

In between the answers and the next questions, when they offer little tidbits of factual information related to the question, I scope out where my opponents are on the plane. The couple across the aisle from me and Scott who hogged up all the overhead compartment space are two of the contestants. She is a sort of pretty blond who is trying too hard and flirting too much and really exerting herself to impress the man she is traveling with. They seem like a couple where she is more invested than he is. And he's a marginally handsome, overly groomed self important pompous ass. She is giggling away and making lamely witty remarks and he is ignoring her. He has a game to win.

Movie trivia, geography, a few astronomy questions later, Mel 6 rows ahead of Scott stops playing. A couple of U.S. Government and world history questions go by, and Flirtatious across the aisle bails, too. It is just me and Pretty Boy and he is going toe to toe with me. The speed of your answer determines your points for each question...so long as you get it right. And it will tell you when the question is over how you did against your competitor.

Brad, 30 points. Liza, 50 points.
Brad, no answer, zero points. Liza, 60 points.
Brad, 45 points. Liza, 50 points.

And as the game progresses and I top the leader board, the point spread gets wider and wider.

And Scott is watching Pretty Boy overreact while I maintain laser focus on the game.Pretty Boy is jabbing at answers on the screen, guessing randomly just to get the highest number of points before they tick away with the seconds. (Jeopardy theme, please...) Grimacing and grunting when I best him. He must know I am his opponent, but he never even glances our way.

Finally, the 21st question has been asked and answered and the screen flashes in big, bold howler monkey font:

CONGRATULATIONS, LIZA in seat 16B. You are our winner!

There is no prize for this little victory, except the look of humility on Pretty Boy's puss.Tries Too Hard is patting his arm to console him. He's sulking.

It is a nice little victory over the rude and self centered.

But small consolation for the news that our connecting flight is delayed for three hours. Our plans to be home before the 10 o'clock news just turned into an arrival in the wee hours.