Who's Your Buddy?

So when J. flaked and seemed to take leave of all of his senses, Charlotte came to the rescue. Superhero cape flying behind her, and without my having to ask, she protected me in ways I would not have thought to protect myself. Trusting boob that I am. She spoke to her husband and sons about giving J. a Facebook kiss-off as well. Of course her sons had lots of questions, and a number of (not so off-base) comments – but they all went un-responded to. My brother-in-law got the full Monty. The ugly. The profane. The indiscreet. The rubber room eligibility criteria. I informed the one or two remaining friends in common that I was having a few concerns about J. following our highly dramatic breakup. I described a few troubling instances that made my blood run cold. A few defining breaches of trust. I stopped short however of asking them to unfriend him. Some people don’t like to be asked to pick a side after a divorce. I get that. I was not going to tread on that path. The proof will eventually show in the pudding. Rancid though it may be. I decided I’d just be overly judicious with what I posted to their walls or posts, since he’d be able to see them. I’d cross my fingers about what they’d post on my comments, since that would open up the comment for him to view. Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t about to cyber-bash him. That is not the gate I swing on. My mother taught me better than that. Okay maybe it wasn’t my mother. But someone taught me better than that. Could have been Brownie Scouts. Could have been Beyonce. Doesn’t matter. I know better. And besides, I’d be a fool to make a public FB statement that I’ve come to view him as a free-loading nut who has famously failed to manage even the simplest aspects of his life with any competence. Wouldn’t that just confirm that I have been a fool? Even though we all know that I have been, I am going to go out and make a proclamation??? No, I just intend to minimize the exposure. Not post to April’s wall that “Hey, looking forward to spending Valentine’s Day with Scott!” I’d come home to find my house burned to the ground. I blocked IMs from him and his family. Sent email traffic from same to spam. Now if I could just pick up may house and move it to an undisclosed address. So FB will not be a real problem if I am mindful of the exposure. I am anyway. God knows I wouldn’t want some potential employer to get the wrong idea about anything I’ve said. Use a little common sense. Set some boundaries. But evidently those same girls who instantly wanted to be my friend in high school the minute I went on my first date with Scott have no such concerns. And no such boundaries. As I am quickly finding out with a rash of friend requests from people whose names I sort of recognize but with whom I have never been friends. And therein lies the problem with Facebook. There is no discretion among the indiscreet.