'Cause Ya Gotta Have Friends!

It was as though everyone waited for Scott to post something and then raced to be the first to respond. It’s like the girl in high school that laughs the loudest every time her crush tells a joke, however dumb.

For instance he put something out there about M&Ms one day, and suddenly everyone was commenting how M&Ms were their all time favorite candy, and how they are so mouthwateringly delicious, and mmmmmmmm and mmmmmmm.

Oh my God M&Ms are really not meant to be suggestive.

I told him he should comment that he stepped in goose poop and see how many people fire off replies about their own similar experiences, how coincidental? or that they'd had a dream that he’d do that, or offer little tricks to remove goose poop from the treads of one’s shoes, or offer overly sincere condolences.

It was hilarious.

In January, after 9 or 10 snow storms since we’d begun to date, Scott began looking for a new truck so he could effortlessly make the 90 mile trek to my house despite Old Man Winter’s lovely little jests. A big manly truck would make 90 miles in heavy snow seem like a walk in the park. He looked high and low for just the right one.

And one day, unexpectedly, he posted a status which seemed to be designed to suggest to me he'd met with success. His post simply read “Bring on the snow!”

I knew he’d be driving that night to my house in a brand new truck no matter the weather. Yay me!

But before I could respond, there were The Girls…all flapping about how much they too love the snow and how much they have been enjoying its picturesque beauty, and how much fun all the accumulation has been, and how much it has improved their ski experiences this season, you still ski, don’t you, Scott? and completely misunderstanding the point of his message and grasping at straws to align themselves with him.

So I chimed in. “Sounds like someone got a new toy! Have fun!”

To which some pain in the ass joked “Too much information, Liza!”

What kind of toy did she think I was talking about?

So I replied, “A new pick up truck is TMI? Looks like the snow has made someone frigid.”

I felt kind of bad smacking her down when I found out she is a minister’s wife. But not too bad. She’s better off learning early not to start a war of words with the Master.

I am not sure what quality these overly attentive gals must have noticed in my exchanges with Scott – maybe our messages vaguely suggested the existence of private jokes or understanding, or maybe it was that I wasn’t clucking about the hen yard trying to get his attention (because hello, I had it) or maybe that he responded to me routinely and favorably, and to them, not so much – but the cat was peeking its head out of the proverbial bag for sure.

And then, just as in high school, the Friend Requests came pouring in.