Oh How Happy Yoooouuuuu Have Made Me

Happy Anniversary to my sister Charlotte and her husband, Jack. My super heroes have been married to one another for 24 years. Talk about a feat of strength and endurance. Twenty-four years is a long time for anyone, even super heroes.

Being related to Charlotte and Jack is like having Wonder Woman and Superman in the family. It is no wonder they found each other attractive all those years ago. Surrounded by mere mortals, surely she would have noticed and admired his dapper red cape. And naturally, he would have dug her indestrictable Amazonium, bullet-deflecting bracelets. And maybe her bustier.

I marvel at them. No pun intended.

Now, I am not naive. I know that no one knows what baggage anyone else is carrying around in their invisible Fendi purse. But truly, from my superbox first row seats, things look darn extraordinary. And not just when compared to the shit storms that my last two long term relationships turned out to be.

J. and I barely cleared 24 months let alone 24 years before I felt like I was tip-toeing and tap dancing across a minefield every time I held his hand.

And Lars. I wish I'd had the clarity and moxie to move out to Splitsville 24 months earlier than I had, when Lars and I had logged only half of the years Charlotte and Jack have at this point.

I am sure there is a whole lot more effort and work and purposeful, thoughtful elbow grease that goes into all this wedded bliss than meets the eye. More counting to ten, more holding one's tongue, more smiling through the pain, more sucking it up, more forfeiting and more doing what they don't care to do than anyone outside their home sees. There would have to be. Humans who don't have the benefit of being clones will always have interests that compete or conflict at some point or on some level. It is all in how you handle those instances that matters.

But they do make it all seem effortless. And maybe by now it is more so than it was 20 years ago. I am sure they have had their nasty little bumps in the road. They have made their sacrifices and have had their battles and have given into compromises like everyone else.

I think the difference is, they have each reaped the fruits of their labors and both genuinely appreciate what the other has given, and adds to the equation every day.

They enjoy each other.
Take pride in each other.
Appreciate each other.
Consider each other.
Adore each other.
Respect each other.
They both contribute of themselves.

And so, for these reasons, and countless others, they stand out noticeably to me, and in especially sharp, hi-def contrast to my recent past relationships of note:

- No one gets stuck doing everything- all the laundry, all the cleaning, all the home maintenance, all the grocery shopping, all the cooking, all the carting kids hither and yon, all the organizing, all the thinking. While the other does all the lounging about the palace never leaving the comfort of his highness's royal ass groove on his royal couch.

- No one gets humiliated in public, or in private by the other. Most notably, no one is criticized openly at a dinner party with one's friends. No one is disrespected and denigrated at her professional social engagement in front of her very important business partner boss. And no one has their lovely elementary school graduation reception memories singed around the edges with the delivery of an overly-loud, unnecessary comment disclosing way too much information about a very private, sensitive personal matter.

-No one does all the earning while the other does all the freeloading. And scheming to spend the other's money on his own idiotic agenda.

-And no one spends countless hours sleuthing, and spying and calling and texting and trying to figure out who the other is catting around secretively with because surely she must be cheating. She must be. I know she is. I don't know how I know that, I just know it.

And those are just the bare minimum basics. Charlotte and Jack have so much more. The cake and the icing on it. The candles too. Good for them.

So congratulations, Charlotte and Jack. Cheers to you and to all that you are to each other, and to those who love you.