Moscow Rule 3 - Everyone is Potentially Under Opposition Control

And Joe certainly was now.

I am taking an educated guess here, but it would make sense to me that Joe, always on the brink of disaster, saw an opportunity in among all of Mom's rants to him. (She had not singled out Charlotte for the sheer pleasure of the experience. She'd told Joe a few stories around the campfire as well.) Joe, seeing a chink in my armor, took an opportunity to twist the knife a little more, so as to level the playing field a little. Improve his position by worsening mine. Typical sib rivalry. Typical Joe.

So on one of her subsequent rage fueled rants to Charlotte, which I am sure Charlotte prepared for with a Valium and a vodka chaser, Mom spun a little ditty about my charity work from the Summer of the Lawnmower.

Joe, clueless about all his transgressions and abuses of hospitality, seems to only focus on his recollection that I did not always pay him. That there were one or two times when I did not pay him at all. Complained to my mother about it. Nearly 4 years later. Nice.

Now, I know these things to be true:

1 - Mom often called me to say she'd "speak to Joe about doing my lawn once or twice for free," and that I would tell her that she did not need to do that. A deal is a deal, no matter how ill advised.

2 - That If I had not paid Joe on the spot, I'd paid him shortly thereafter. And if I'd failed to pay him in some way, I'd have been happy to make up for it had he mentioned it. And he would mention it; he asks for everything else - things from your home, food for his kids, $10 compensation when his kid attempted and failed to start my mower a couple of years back when Spring sprang early.

3 - He ate and drank and destroyed his way through more than $80 worth of food and drink and shrubbery without so much as a moment of guilt.

How dare he?

I ranted to Charlotte for 20 minutes or so and made matters worse by failing to refrain from shooting the messenger. And again, she was a very good sport.

I was feeling bilious and rammy. I decided to take action. Joe needs me more than he needs any temporary, fleeting, good will, favored son treatment from Mom. And now, I'd like him to regret his decision to throw me under the bus without hesitation and without merit.

I logged on to my computer and wrote Joe an email:

Joe - Mom seems to be under the impression that 4 years ago, when you were mowing my lawn, I did not properly pay you. I am wondering why she has that impression. To be clear, and I think you will recall:

I paid you $40 every time you mowed my lawn, even though the kid down the street was willing to do it for $25. You were unemployed so I helped you. I do recall there were one or two times when I did not pay you on the very day you mowed it, but I did pay you.

And while you were here, you helped yourself to showers, food, drinks (for yourself and your child(ren) and managed to mow down a tree that I had ordered and planted, and left you a note to avoid mowing over. Your son also helped himself to my son's video games.

And yet our mother seems to think I owe you something. Enlighten me, please. I even gave your kid $10 for attempting to mow my front lawn. This impression Mom has can only have come from you. So until I have an apology from one or both of you for gossiping to Charlotte about this, I don't believe I will be able to help you with your resume. I am not in a position to do any more favors. Good luck.

Send.