Memories! Light the Corners of My Mind

Like everyone, I have songs that send me back. Sometimes way back.

"Cecelia" by Simon and Garfunkel will always make me smile thinking of my parents as a happily married couple. Whether they were actually happy or not at the time is anyone's guess but that was a song my mother told me she and my father would dance to on regular Saturday nights out with other couples. I'll assume happiness.

And "Rock the Boat" by the Hues Corporation and Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died" send me back to the summer between 4th and 5th grade, to the swim club where my sister and I wiled away hours upon hours, day and night after day and night with our little swim team clique. Either song coming on the radio inspires one of us to call the other and hold the phone up to the speaker.

And though I am not likely to ever hear it again, there was a song with lyrics that spoke of Porcupine Pie and Vanilla Soup that brings back an image of my brother with his wildly bushy blond curls that stuck out in every direction in the 70s when it was all the rage to have hair like that. My Dad, with the crew cut that he combed flat so that it was trained to lay down across the top of his head would sing the song and change the words to "Porcupine Hair."

And I have two specific Dad songs.

"To Sir With Love" by Lulu is almost never on the radio. It's an old song from an old movie that I chose to dance to with my Dad at my wedding. He'd requested that I not play "Daddy's Little Girl" as he could not go through it another time, blubbering and emotional in front of 100s of guests like he had at my sister's wedding.

And although it is supposed to be a father's tribute to his daughter, I turned the tables and chose the song as a tribute to him. He'd shouldered the labor oar when it came to raising us (Did I mention that my parents divorced when I was 14-ish?) I liked what it had to say. (http://www.weddingvendors.com/music/lyrics/l/lulu/to-sir-with-love/)

We had lived with Dad, all of us, all the time. And although it was far from Utopia, he did give it his all, with all the tools he had in his toolbox at the time. Just a guess, but I don't think the three of us were any day at the beach either. And at the time, a single father with three kids was as rare as an honest politician, and there was a serious shortage of How-To manuals on the topic, or even friends who could relate. We fumbled through the highs and lows together.

The other song is Calling All Angels, by Train. I vividly remember hearing it for the first time as I was driving to the beach for a weekend with my gal pals at the end of the very week my Dad had moved out of his beloved house and into a nursing home. I felt terribly guilty and wondered if we'd ever truly know if it had been a mistake or the right thing to do. The song begins with the words "I need a sign" and just hearing them had me sobbing to the point of becoming a traffic hazard.

And that is the song I'd heard while inching along the garage ramps. And hearing it a few days in a row always precedes what I'd call a sign. My eyes were open. I would not miss it.