Attention!

The rest of Sunday afternoon is loads of fun. The beach bar fun becomes the bar-across-the-street fun. We leave the party early though. Almost everyone has to get up early and go to work. I am the only one that will be staying for a little solitary beach time. Somehow it doesn't seem like such a prize. I have all summer to sit in the sun by myself.

Craig continues to text back and forth with me. I am torn a little. I love his attention but it is so hard to come by. I don't know if I'll keep John's attention but it was a whole lot easier to get and maintain so far.

I push the thoughts out of my head. Time to get some beauty sleep. Whatever will be will be. Let Fate handle that.

The next morning is beautiful. I pack my car and find my beach chair at the pool while Joy and Penny get ready to leave. I stick my nose in a book I have been trying to finish for months but find it hard to read. Why do I find my social life ups and downs so distracting? How did I ever get through college with all the social crises I so regularly found myself enduring? It is amazing I managed to get a single passing grade. I have the attention span of a sand flea when there is the slightest problem or the slightest victory. Can it be possible that I've gotten worse at managing my life?

Joy and Penny come to say goodbye. Joy wants me to text a photo of my dress for the party and wishes me luck with John. Penny is going to text us pictures of dresses she's selected to wear to her brother's wedding. She has purchased seven of them and can not make up her mind. Thank God for girlfriends. She, too, tells me to let her know what happens with John, too.

I tell them I know what they are thinking. They are thinking that I am so hung up on Craig that I will royally screw up things with John. I have a way of dooming things. I tell them not to worry. I will not be stupid. For once I will be sensible. I will not continue to be my own worst enemy. I will consult with them before I do anything. I will make the investment in the unfamiliar. I am sure they are wondering if I know what being sensible looks like. I am not entirely convinced that I do. I will probably decide what my gut tells me. And then go against it. Going with my gut has been disastrous almost every time. God knows how I have managed to have a career that involves people.

Finally all alone and alone with my thoughts, I close my book and close my eyes and enjoy the sun on my face. And I find that I can't be still. My mind is racing. What am I wearing to my interview? Do I have a suit that still fits my shrinking frame and does not make me look like I borrowed it from a neighbor twice my size? How will I handle the outfit change for Kate's company party? What are my kitties doing at home without me for the 4th day in a row? Should I take my 10 mile walk here or go home and hit the trails? Or should I spend some time working on the yard?

Whatever the answers, it is clear to me that I can not sit in this beach chair for long. I slowly pack up my things, giving myself time to change my mind. But I don't. I get a Snapple at the hotel gift shop, and a bag of almonds to munch on the road, and head to my car, sort of disappointed in myself.

But that is just the beginning.

I get in the car and plug in all of my gadgets. Phone hooked up to play iTunes and to charge. Earpiece unplugged and turned on for maximum chatting. While I am revving my engines Kate texts. She can get John in but she has specific instructions. I need to call her.

Before I can dial, I get a text from John.

I am almost afraid to open it. It is our first post-Girls Weekend contact. What will it be?

I was right to be nervous.

It's a very nice text, and he's put some effort into sounding like himself. (Instead of a telegram, which I hate. Stop.)

Says he got into work and checked his calendar and he has a work engagement the night of Kate's party. Says's he's an idiot. Tells me he'll get in touch later in the week and we'll make plans to get together.

And in that instant he makes Craig that much more appealing.

I call Kate. She is almost as disappointed as I am. No one cancels a first date. And even if the reason is completely legitimate, the proper thing to do would be to establish other plans right as you are cancelling the previous ones. As in, "I am sorry I can't make it Wednesday. Are you free for dinner on Thursday or Friday?"

That is if you are interested at all. Which I am convinced he is not.