Car Sense(less)

The magic day has arrived.

My car is done. Squirrels relocated, wiring harness repaired. My baby is as good as new.

I get the call at work and leave early to go get her. How I have missed her so!

I see the technician who did the intake/triage. Don is all smiles. He's hoping I am too, I am sure. He leads me over to the desk where I will part with my deductible of $500 and wait for someone to bring my car around to me.

I am third in line so I thank Don and proceed to log into my banking app on my phone and move exactly $500 into my checking account so I can write a check against it.

I also get my Game Face on, as I know from prior experience that the Nickel and Dime game may be played, and there will be a charge for this bogus replacement, a charge for that unnecessary service.  All in the name of upping the ante.

I get to the desk and the clerk gets out my pile o'papers.  It is an alarming little stack of documents.

I start.  "The deal is that my insurance company is to pay you for the full amount minus my deductible, which is exactly $500. So the bill should be for $500 not a penny more."  Read that, "You can write off any charges for dirty rags and squirrel burial before you hand my the bill, lady. I am not playing games."

She looks up at me. Looks up at me so hard that her eyes appear to be rolling back in her head.

And then she shakes her head. I am beginning to seethe and think seriously about diving across the desk for the sole purpose of raking my fingernails down her face, inclusive of the pouty hot pink lips.

She begins to speak, though ill-advised. "Oh, no, no, no, no no!" she trills. I am freeing my hands to begin raking.

She flips over the stack of papers to show me some handwriting on the top page. "Covered under Warranty!  Customer Pays Zero!"

I am speechless. Delighted, but speechless. My car is 5 years old. There is no way anything is covered under warranty.

I ask her if she is sure.  She says she is, and calls the valet guys to bring my car around, scrawling her name next to the big zero with a line through it.

Slam dunk!