A War of Words

A good night's sleep, a cup of coffee and an Aleve later, I reopened the e-mail and read it again.



It was so annoying that I actually called Lars, who is normally the most annoying person I can think of, but compared with this guy, was barely tipping the scales.



I told him I would reply to McDuff on our behalf, copy him, and copy the administrators he failed to copy. He seemed happy to relinquish the responsibility, as all Percocet aficionados do when they are pressured to do anything that requires clarity. I needed to be able to tell McDuff that I read between the lines, am not that easily cowed, and will not be pacified with a half-assed answer or solution. So he better scrounge up the remainder of the ass, pronto.

I left for work early, and composed this reply as I bombed over the bridge, ready to fire it off from my iPhone as soon as I landed:

Thank you for your prompt reply. Mr. Royal and I will give your responses thoughtful consideration.

My most immediate concerns, and to which I would like a meaningful and timely response, pertain to your first two statements:

-What precisely is the the new seating arrangement in the cafeteria and what is the plan to ensure that it is executed today?

-What does "will be mindful of the student dynamics when assigning class seats, collaborative groups and labs" mean, exactly? Is Patrick going to be seated away from the three students who harass him today, or is he not? I would like to know before 7th period commences. Your response will dictate what action I take.

Secondarily, I believe what I requested was the policy on bullying, not a synopsis. Can you direct me to where I and other parents and students might read it?

Thank you. I will provide a more thorough response when I have had a chance to review your e-mail with Mr. Royal.

I was satisfied that I'd effectively dissected the statements and stripped the school of its ability to argue any semantic discrepancy they might have hoped for. I went about having a productive morning. Until one of the other mothers in my office who'd easily seen herself in my shoes, came looking for an update to the drama. Had I heard from the school? Wasn't it getting to be lunch time?

Oh crap. I checked to see that I had not missed an e-mail. I had not.

I checked the schedule of class period beginning and end times and had found Pat's assigned lunch period. I had an hour.

I took to e-mail once again, and this time just went to the 8th grade principal, bypassing the Discipline Guru, and placing the word "urgent" in caps in the subject line:

I do not wish to labor this issue, but I asked for timely and meaningful feedback on two points in the email below. Patrick's lunch period begins within the hour and the Science class is two periods later, and I am unclear on several critical details. My earlier e-mail has not been acknowledged. I would appreciate a reply from you or Dr. McDuff before 5th period so that I can be assured what actions have been taken.

I wanted to chip away at McDuff's credibility in his role and compel them to act. Why weren't they acting?

Within a few minutes, I got a thorough reply from the 8th grade principal detailing exactly what actions had been taken and ensuring me that they'd follow through on them. Pat's lunch table would be dispersed to other tables, and Pat had been assigned a seat with some friends. The seating assignment in Science was similarly addressed and as projects and classroom experiments were assigned, the teacher knew to refrain from teaming Pat with any of these three lummoxes.

I also got a phone call from McDuff, which I'd missed because of work, which made the same points, all coming after my email and after the reply from the 8th grade principal. I took this to mean that he'd become hesitant to make commitments in writing. Clearly I'd use anything discoverable to twist him in his own statements eventually.

But he did send one additional email. It attached links to the Harassment Policy and the school handbook for my reading pleasure.

Here we go. A cage match on my home turf.