Dear Sir

Monday morning and I awake to an email from McDuff the Disciplinarian. He'd sent it at 10 pm the night before. I'd guess that he composed it after a few beers during the football and playoff baseball games. It was a little torqued up.


It was sent just to me, not to me and Lars, and not to me and Lars and the rest of the group to whom I had sent my last email.


He seemed offended that I wanted to meet with more than just him. McDuff wrote that he'd be glad to meet but that he'd "do his best" to get the other administrators in the room. Since he routinely omitted them from the distribution list on his more ridiculous emails, I assumed that "his best" would mean no effort at all, because really, he'd like to handle this without any further witnesses to the embarrassment he'd surely experience.


I was tired and coffee-deprived, so I fired off an email which began with the words, "With all due respect."


I love any written or spoken statement that begins with those words. It is a little warning flare so you brace yourself for what follows. Because if you need to precede any statement with that phrase, it can be assumed that the next few words will suggest that you have absolutely no respect for the person you are addressing whatsoever.


"With all due respect, these were your proposed times. Before I take time off from work to accomplish something that the school should have more competently handled well before all of this intervention, kindly arrange for all the stakeholders to be there. Please advise as quickly as possible and apprise all copied on this e-mail as requested in a prior e-mail.

McDuff was obviously in a pissy mood, too. He wrote back immediately, also beginning his emails with "With all due respect." Again he referenced my "insisting." Like my demands were unreasonable. Hello, my kid is getting picked on and you are not doing anything. I think I am entitled to make a few demands, asswipe.

He wrote that he'd have to check calendars yadda yadda yadda.

It seems ironic to me the I can make a completely inconvenient meeting when I work in a neighboring state, yet these 4 people who report to this building every day and do not have a teaching component to their jobs, can't rearrange a calendar to accommodate a meeting a week in advance. Maybe they need a new secretary. Someone needs to make an effort to get their s*** in a pile.

He also wrote that he'd be interested to learn what I mean by "to accomplish something that the school should have more competently handled well before all of this intervention" and suggested that we all take "a micro and a macro look at this situation to determine if it is truly bullying or just normal adolescent dynamics."

An idiot says what?

I am not sure where McDuff grew up, or whether he spent any time as a youth or an education major in a Juvenile Detention Center, but there is no normal adolescent dynamic that includes hitting my kid. Sorry. No one is sweeping this under the schools filthy little threadbare rug.

I replied immediately and told McDuff I'd be happy to explain my statement and I'd be interested to hear him defend his, and frankly, he can get confirmation that the stakeholders would be present or I'd get a few from the school board and the Superintendent's office. Thanks so much for your cooperation.

I got into the shower to prepare for the day and immediately began my argument in my head.