Signed, Sealed, Delivered, You're Mine

I painstakingly went through the school directory and found the names and e-mail addresses of the 8th grade principal, the 7th grade principal and self anointed discipline guru, the school principal, and the counselor for Pat's grade. I wrote, edited, added, deleted, reviewed and then hit the send key on this:

I am writing to you today, to express my profound concern about the bullying situation that my son Patrick Royal has brought to my attention. The purpose of my e-mail is to introduce myself to each of you as Patrick's mother, and to inform you that Mr. Royal and I, though divorced and living separately, have shared custody of our children and are both very much involved in and in agreement on this issue. Mr. Royal has kept me apprised of what has been happening at school, Pat's demeanor and reaction to those events, and how the school has responded.

I speak for Mr. Royal and myself when I say that what we seek is a safe environment, conducive to learning and free of harassment. To that end, I understand that following Mr. Royal's return to the school this morning that it has been agreed that:

An alternate seating arrangement will be established in the cafeteria that separates Pat from the three students identified as the bullies;
Pat's seating in Science will be reassigned so that his contact with these students is minimized, and therefore the opportunities to bother him will be reduced;
The student that struck Pat will be spoken to and reprimanded appropriately.
Each of these requests will be carried out in a way that does not inadvertently penalize Patrick.

I would like to see these items completed by the end of the day this coming Friday. If this not possible, or if this is not your understanding, please advise Mr. Royal and me at your earliest convenience, so that we can let Patrick know what to expect when he returns to school. Mr. Royal and I are looking for a convincing demonstration that you are capable and willing to meet the expectation of safety while Patrick is at school and you are acting in loco parentis. More importantly, Patrick needs to be convinced.

I would like to obtain copies of the reports Patrick and his father filed in the office this week, and if such policy exists, the school or district's policy prohibiting bullying or conduct of that nature. Patrick will be living in my home next week, and I would be happy to pick them up from the 8th grade office when I transport his sister and him to school.

I ask that you correspond with me on any issues which are addressed with Mr. Royal, and vice versa. Mr. Royal is copied on this e-mail. I appreciate the attention you have given to this matter so far, and am confident that it can be resolved swiftly and without additional consequence. I am happy to avail myself for further discussion.

Satisfied with my writing but afraid of what I might find out, I refrained from checking email until much later in the day. So much later that I was already at a work event having a cocktail with colleagues when I took a peek.

The disciplinarian, Dr. McDuff, had responded only to me and Lars, which I took to mean that he was not confident in his reply and wanted to minimize its damage.

He inserted statements in red italics throughout what I'd written providing point by point feedback to each statement I'd made.

But it didn't say anything. It was a lot of corporate-speak, intended to give the illusion that it was providing information, but really skirted issues and made no commitments.

He did commit to providinge the reports to me, but only if I came to school to meet with them, and provided several supremely inconvenient times that I could choose from. I am sure it was to dissuade me from being to committed to my cause. Fat chance.

The only other concrete thing in the whole reply was a "paraphrased version of the district unlawful harassment policy which hangs in every classroom in the district."

I opened it. Though viewing was tricky on my iPhone and after 3 beers, I could make out that it was a poster not unlike those that announce that the circus is coming, with gold and red letters and lots of crazy fonts. And it had about 2000 words of legalese that surely no middle schooler would ever waste time reading.

I was beginning to feel a shift in power. Dr. McDuff had just stepped into my sandbox.