What's My Line?

More deafening silence.

No barky calls from Sheila interceding on the newlyweds’ behalf following J.’s abbreviated conversation with Em and Chuck’s appalling failure to respond, retaliate or revile – or do anything but retreat. Really.

No screechy re-treads of any one of a variety of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane rants from Endora on the same topic – and perhaps a few more that she’s imagined.

No very grown up phone call from Em wanting to explain. (Must be that she doesn’t have J.’s number. Maybe she can get it from his daughter…)

But really, what could anyone say?

Perhaps:

“We admit we were manipulating the guest list and are mad as a hornet that you didn’t fall for it. You usually do! What gives?”

Or maybe:

“Four o’clock on a Friday is an admittedly obtuse and insensitive time to plan a party. It’s even too early for Happy Hour. I am sorry that I assumed everyone had as little to do as I do, and failed to realize that most others lead far more interesting and demanding lives, with multitudes of activities and pressing engagements to juggle. Who knew?!”

Or:

“You caught us being sneaky and trying to lure your daughter to the dark side and persuade her to disobey you since you put your foot down. And now we are running around in little circles trying to figure out what to do!”

Or even:

“Forgive Em her stupidity. She is just too brainless to grasp that calling your daughter was totally inappropriate and transparent in its mission to undermine your authority as a parent by appealing to your daughter’s newfound 18-ness.”

Or how about:

“Em is not only painfully dim-witted but colossally self-absorbed. We did talk about the fact that you were not coming to dinner, and she should have known, but since the conversation did not directly mention her name, or reference her wedding or weight-loss regimen, all she absorbed was ‘Yakkety yakkety yakkety. Blah blah blah blah blah.’ And she called your daughter because those are the only 10 digits she can remember in the right order. Please don’t hold it against her.”

The possibilities are endless. But I think J. would be satisfied with two words.

"We're sorry."