The Business End Of Things

The long drive back from the cottage was quiet. Actually, it's more accurate to say that the people in the car were quiet and the cats were meowing in stereo. And in sync. It was enough to scramble my brain.

Unloading from vacation is so much less fun than loading up the car to leave on the trip. I feel like the boxes and bags are made of lead and contain way more stuff than we started with. Sorting laundry and putting things where they belong and reopening the house seems like a cruel reminder that vacation is over.

I know. Vacation from what? I was not even working. But you'd be surprised how much you can need a break from the routine nothingness that unemployment can bring.

While the kids put away their clothes and got on line and generally reacclimated to the house and their lives, I began a Google search for one of the three matrimonial lawyers I'd known. They'd left the firm we'd worked for shortly after I had so I had no idea where to start. I only knew their first names, and I knew they practiced in a neighboring county - but could still give me advice on procedure. That little song and dance has very few versions. And any advice would help. I had no idea what I was doing. Completely clueless.

I found what seemed like a generic directory for matrimonial lawyers in the county and read the description of the first one ----"Personalized service, superior representation, affordable billing plans."

That's me. Personalized, superior and affordable. I wonder if it was one of the ladies?

There was a little green button to press on my smartphone to call directly. Someone answered cheerfully on the first ring. So far we had the personalized part down.

I assumed I was talking to a receptionist so I launched into a diatribe about the reason for my call, expecting to hear "Please hold for Ms. Blahblahblah." But instead the voice said, "Give me a little background information. Who was the judge you went before in May? An older gentleman, white hair, as mean as a snake?"
"YES!!!!" I practically shrieked! And I definitely scared the cats. I had the airborne hairballs to prove it.

I told her the story about his insulting rant and his aggressive behavior toward me. She told me not to take it personally, it is his schtick. He is all about support for the kids and is especially harsh with parents who try to reduce it. She told me a horrifying little tale of woe concerning a carpenter who wanted to get his support order reduced because his business had failed. Hiz Honor had insulted his skills as a tradesman and a business owner. said he'd never hire him himself. Looked him up and down as though her were scum. And didn't reduce his order a cent.

And I realized I was talking not to the receptionist, but my new lawyer. She had answered her own phone on one ring and gave me her undivided attention for an hour. An hour filled with back stories and horror stories and income information and detailed instructions about what I needed to do first thing on Monday morning. She agreed to attend the hearing with me that Wednesday and she'd meet me Monday at the courthouse after I followed through with my instructions. We'd grab a cup of coffee and get all the business out of the way. It would be fun.

Fun?

The train was back on the tracks. And I had a new engineer in the locomotive!