I Know Someday You'll Have A Beautiful Life

And in retrospect I did make the best use of the summer. And when my work was done - my work on my lawn, my work on my health, my work on my house, my work on myself, my work on my kids - my work toward a new career paid off.

Just around the time when my viable leads were fizzling out, three new ones magically appeared. And by magically appeared, I mean they seemed to simply fall from the sky.

One was a creative Human Resources Talent Management position. Identifying high potential talent across a broad, far flung organization and closing gaps to between each of the high performers and their next career move. Loads of fun. Very hot to trot company.

Another I stumbled upon by accident. A broad Human Resources role within a boutique firm who never had an HR function before and was sure they were about to wander aimlessly into compliance problems since they'd recently grown in size and surpassed some of the Federal Government regulatory thresholds. They specifically wanted a seasoned, grizzled HR Executive with an English degree and who can write. I was tempted to simply show up and make myself at home in the available desk.

And the last was a huge, household name e-retailer. The headhunter who had placed me in my last job must have felt guilty about leading me to the gates of Hell and had given my contact information to the hiring manager to connect with me. I wasn't even sure when I'd spoken with the woman that she wasn't a headhunter herself. But she was not, and she was lovely. I clicked with her in an instant. We got each other. I wanted to work for her and she wanted to work with me. The second, third and fourth steps came rapidly, and so did the offer. I was over the moon. And I was finally employed!

I had paid my dues and done my work over the summer. It was paying off in spades. I had a sexy new job, an easy commute, a cool, fun, employer, a beautiful office building brimming with really, really smart people. Pinch me.

But there was some unfinished business to resolve. And that would surely take the shine off of things eventually.

Let's back up.

Back in the summer while I was staying at Charlotte and Jack's cottage, I'd had a couple of epiphanies.

First, I'd endured some long silences from Craig. Troubling silences. Silences that made me sad. I heard a Pearl Jam song called "Black" that resonated with me...well the end of it did. It talks about someone being the sun in somebody's sky. And I decided I wanted to be that. The sun in someone's sky. And if not Craig's then someone else's. Sad as the idea was to have it be someone ELSE's sky.

And second, I needed to get my shit in a pile about the pending child support hearing where I could be facing Lars and that dirty-looking lawyer of his and that nasty judge. The hearing was less than a week away. I was petrified and I had no plan, no argument, no leg to stand on.

The end of our vacation is always so sad for me anyway, but as I packed to leave and cleaned and remade beds, and stuffed the cats into their carriers, I was weary. Weary of the world. Weary from not working. Weary of the fight. Weary from wondering what would become of me and all the things in my life that are important.

As I drove home I made two decisions.

I would contact one of the extremely helpful and kind matrimonial lawyers (Yes there is such a thing!) I'd worked with at one time to see if I could get some sage advice about the hearing. How hard could they be to find?

And I would call Charlotte to see if I could turn around and drive back to the cottage alone after I'd gotten the cats settled and the kids back to Lars. I craved a little self-imposed isolation and the cottage would be perfect.