Ain't No Stopping Her Now

We manage to get into the end zone of the graduation without anyone leaving in an ambulance. Though it is by a slim margin.  Some people (like Mom and Bill) have no idea that some things are to remain sacred at all costs and should not be marred by anyone's screechy bickering for any reason. Even if the reason is as huge and Earth-shattering as one's inability to properly operate his or her own camera. Perish the thought.

It is truly a lovely ceremony, Mom and Bill notwithstanding, and I am not alone beaming with pride for my Griffin.  Such a lovely young man. He's going to be fun to watch make a mark on this world.  Quietly, confidently, firmly - he will indeed leave a most indelible stamp on everything he touches. Every endeavor. Every place. Every heart. 

But for now, while Charlotte and Jack enjoy the rest of the rituals and the company of friends whose boys are friends with Grif and who are enjoying the same sense of pride on this life-changing day, I will attempt, however lamely, to curtail any social damage Mom and Bill might about to unwittingly inflict.

But there is no stopping them. 

I wave down a childhood friend that I'd spoken to at the graduation party the week before. We'd laughed about the old neighborhood and our antics at the swim club.  I'd mentioned the conversation to Mom. She'd remembered him as well.  I want to let her see what a fine man the little bad ass has become and introduce them to one another again.

And Mom, true to form has to act like a kook.  Gushes on and on about his mother for reasons that can't be explained.  After an embarrassingly long one-sided conversation, he tells Mom that his mother has died. Mom immediately begins to cry. In public. About a person she has not seen in about 40 years. (Yep, that was an uncommonly close relationship. So close you have not seen each other in decades. Who wouldn't come completely unglued?)

I drag her away from that social crisis to find Bill who is wandering aimlessly like Moses in the desert.  I think for a moment that it might solve a multitude of issues if I just let him wander in the general direction of oncoming traffic. Let nature take its course. Let the herd thin itself. But Mom wants to get pictures so we can all pretend we like each other and offer up photographic evidence (Again, the damn camera...) and yells (Yells!) to him to come over.

And while everyone poses with Griffin - his brothers, his buddies, his parents, his girlfriend, his adoring aunt (yours truly) and the dreaded grandparents, Mom finds every opportunity to name drop and posture with the other parents and grandparents. She is so insistent on convincing people that she is "one of them" that she sacrifices every shred of decency and self-possession to make sure everyone knows she is one of the "monied set."  And it becomes appallingly clear that whether she has money or does not, she is not of this ilk. 

All of it makes me wish I'd remembered to put a flask of Jack Daniels in my clutch.  Alas, we'll have to wait for lunch. Or Round Two of Social Grace Roulette.