All About Steve

As is our tradition, once we have all laughed until we cried, were awake and hydrated and fed, and had sufficiently rehashed all the stories we'd gone out and come home with the night before, we head to the hills.



Quite literally.



There is a mountainous desert park nearby that offers beautiful panoramic views, gorgeous natural terrain and a great opportunity for a workout as part of the deal. We pile into a car and head in that direction.



We get to the booth where we'll retrieve our trail map and pay to enter the park. We stop and greet the volunteer in the booth. She is a spunky retiree who moments earlier had been chatting with a handsome man who was now standing in the shade of the booth, out of the sweltering sun, and talking on his cell phone.



Candy rolls down the window and greets both the volunteer and the hottie on the phone.



Half the girls in the car think Phone Man is adorable. Half of us are not impressed and think he is just a few birthday candles away from looking like Ernest P. Worrel of Ernest Goes to Camp fame.



But we are ogling just the same while Candy exits the car to talk with the volunteer and to pay her. Our car is too far from the booth window.



Ernest/Phone Man knows we are eyeing him like a piece of meat. Candy thinks he looks even better up close. I keep thinking "Know-what-I-mean-Vern?"



And suddenly, Candy is mooning us. Continuing to speak with the volunteer all the while, but mooning us.



We are all in hysterics, which Ernest/Phone Man seems not to understand, having missed the mooning, and as Candy gets back into the car, pants restored to their upright position, he introduces himself. "Hi. I'm Steve."



And we are out of here. As we pull away laughing at having been mooned, Candy explains that her quandary had been trying to figure out how to flash him the girls without the lady noticing. She'd only settled for a mooning as plan B.



Buckle your seat belts, ladies. It's going to be a bumpy night.