Oh, the Line Forms, On the Right, Babe

So what is it with the Catholic Schools and their pervasive fascination with "the line?"

Form a line to go here.
Get in a line to do this.
Put the desks in a line.
Do you belong in the bus line or the car line?
Stay behind the line.
Don't cross the line.
Color inside the lines.
Go to the end of the line.
Process from the back of the church in a straight line...

What a line of crap!

Is it a matter of headcount?
A matter of uniformity?
A matter of order?
Why does it matter?

And so what I am wondering, following this line of thinking, is what our uniformly dressed, obedient, line-forming little charges learn from all of this towing the line?

That lining up and following the back of the head in front of you without question no matter where it leads will undoubtedly end with something good?

That it is acceptable and even desirable to dress and look exactly like everyone else, right down to not being allowed to wear some element of the Summer ensemble past October 1 no matter how scorching the heat?

For the best results, go from Point A to Point B and then to Point C and so forth in a neat and orderly fashion no matter what the situation?

Comply with the rules and the order of the day without question and you will be rewarded in some predictable way? (No wire hangers!!!!!)

Is this the way we are going to find a cure for Cancer????

I am sure it comes as no surprise to learn that I don't subscribe to this school of thought...if it can be classified as thought at all.

Has anyone at Our Lady of Condemnation or any of her sister schools across the land ever considered how much can be learned from a little chaos?

Because really, what in life routinely and reliably goes along according to plan every time?

How will anyone ever be capable of restoring order from chaos if chaos is an altogether new experience that scares the Holy Ghost out of us?

How will anyone be able to stand calmly in the face of anarchy, and systematically identify what is acceptable and what needs to be changed and decide on a tactical plan when the abnormality of the situation is so bizarre and unnatural that we are immobilized by overwhelming fear of the unknown?

How will anyone, once they are sprung from the safety of captivity, ever successfully negotiate a compromise if there has never been an experience dealing with anyone who has boldly stepped so widely to one side or the other of the line?

How does anyone ever learn to deal with a situation for which no rules seem to apply?

Has anyone ever followed the leader to a scientific breakthrough?

I am all for order, believe me. I like a neat home. I like a desk where I can lay my hands on what I need with little time and effort. I take comfort in being able to expect things - like the garbage to be picked up on Tuesday and Friday. For the green light to follow the red. To get what I believe I've paid for. For my clothes to fit in pretty much the same way from one day to the next.

But in the house I grew up in, there was little predictability. And while it was sometimes a little unsettling, I consider it a gift. Because when things did not go as anticipated, or took an unexpected detour in the general direction of Hell, I had had a little practice in thinking on my little Dr. Scholls-clad feet. And even if I didn't always have the life experience to know what exactly the right thing to do was, I could figure out what made sense given the situation at the moment, no matter how bizarre. Even if what made sense was to simply ask for help, and then to file away what that help looked like - for use on another rainy, or even rainier day.

And this chaos has been good to have experienced - because it is what has made me so interested in and unafraid of people. Including the perfect strangers that sit across a desk from me each day, behind closed doors, telling me their life stories and their motivations, their working life woes and their desires for better things. Their lives of crime, their divorces, the fact that they don't like their current boss because he farts.

There is nothing more frightening and unpredictable than people. It is my comfort with the unexpected that gives me the fearlessness I find so handy at work. Chaos, schmaos. It is all in a days work.

Next!