Date, Shmate. What date?

In spite of the fact that I initiated our divorce. And in spite of the fact that Lars drained my bank account and stole my credit card and cancelled it, and forced me to skip a planned vacation and plan another on the fly, and regularly denigrated me in front of the children and in public, and tried to convince everyone that I was a philandering, alcoholic, disinterested mother and wife, somehow, he was overly interested in who might be calling me (with that crooning, dreamy, manly voice) and what the purpose of his call might be.

Called me at work. Had a few questions for me about that call.

Of course, not wanting to return from my date to find the door locks changed and my personal belongings strewn across the lawn exposed to the elements, I lied. Said it was a cousin. No more explanation. Acted casual. Was actually shaking.

He totally didn't buy it.

I totally didn't give a shit.

And just for the record, when this episode eventually bubbled to the surface in an argument, Lars noted that he considered it cheating.

Cheating.

Even though we were legally separated and I had my lawyer's permission (in fact both lawyers...the fired one and the new one) to date my face off.

And in my defense I'd argued that point - and noted that I knew he told people that I cheated on him even when he knew I never did, and swore on my father's grave to it.

Kindly, sweet man that he is, he took that opportunity to make a disparaging comment about my father and me. Nice.

But anyway, I'd gone off to enjoy a perfectly horrible day at work...inclusive of enduring what was becoming a pissing contest with my also-getting-a-divorce boss who was having a less than rational reaction to my rebirth and rejuvenation as a divorcee, since she was the dumpee in her divorce and I represented the enemy.

Ran home. Took a bath. A bubble bath. I imagined that my mother used to do this.

I dressed in a brand spanking new outfit from the "Date Clothes" collection I'd stuffed my closet with, and stepped confidently out the door to my car.

On my way to the first truly hopeful evening I'd looked forward to in a long time.