Shame and the Shameless

Meanwhile, as my foot was decaying conveniently in advance of my actual death, my support hearing with Lars was looming.

I'd been unemployed for nearly five months and Lars had deftly avoided paying me so much as one thin dime, all the while insisting that that he really, really, really didn't want things to be difficult for me. (Well okay, then, asswipe. Stop letting your lawyer continue the hearings and start paying up. Here's an idea: negotiate. And open your friggin' check book for once, Bargain Basement Bonehead.)

But his lawyer, Randeeee took the attitude that it was I who was causing the hardship. Lars was truly suffering without his monthly pile of free cash. All I had to do was live at the poverty level. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezey. Poor Lars was probably struggling to pay his bar tab. Such a pity. Randeeee regularly called my lawyer to grouse that I was not looking hard enough for a job. And probably billed Lars in 6 minute increments to make the call.

It is so easy to envision raking your fingernails down some people's faces.

And me, being a model citizen (when I try) delayed my start date at my fabulous new job just to avoid having to interrupt my first week with a road trip to the courthouse.

And yet, Randeeee had the unbridled nerve to continue the hearing again. Gave some bogus excuse and followed it with "Is she working YET????" in a voice that could only have resulted from gargling with Drain-O.

Well played, douchebag. You win. I get back to work and Lars never has to part with anything but a few dollars in arrears. And it will just be netted out of the payments I'll eventually owe to him in tiny little increments stretched out over months since he was not technically a deadbeat. Just a weasel. Nothing illegal about being a weasel. He better sleep with one eye open. Karma casts a long shadow.

I am twisted with rage over this last continuation. I know the plan that Randeeee and Lars have hatched is perfectly legal. It can not be found to be contemptuous. But it flies in the face of everything I know about being a parent and being a human being.

It was more important to them to keep all of Lars money in the bank than to provide for my children. They both pretend to have only the loftiest of intentions. Lars only asks for support so he can properly care for the children. But all that logic goes out the window when my caring for them in the manner to whihc they've become accustomed has become financially impossible for me.

They both pretend that I would prefer to take food from my children's mouths and deprive them of essential needs than to part with a portion of my paycheck. When really, it is simply that Lars is a taker. He earns a fine living. He could earn a better living, but he's just lazy. He'd rather have me work hard and sponge off of me like a barnacle. It's not like he works at a car wash. He's a licensed medical professional. With a decent paycheck. He just thinks he's entitled to part of mine. It's despicable. I don't know how he looks at himself in the mirror without wincing. I suppose shame is nothing knew to him.

And Randeeee is the worst kind of lawyer. She's the type of lawyer that gives lawyers a bad name. She creates an intense sense of confusion and insecurity and suspicion so Lars will never make a move without her. He won't make a decision and won't agree to anything. Won't collaborate, won't cooperate, won't do the right thing. And she bills him for every phone call, note and document. Holding him hostage with her sense of superiority. And holding his wallet hostage too. So he feels like he has to reach into mine. That he's ENTITLED to reach into mine.

OK, Miss Grabbypants. You won this round. I hope you enjoy the moment. The truth of the matter is that your need to win has overshadowed your sense of purpose as counsel in a divorce proceeding. Your preoccupation with destroying your opponent has rendered you blind to the carnage in your wake.

And Hil and Pat are the latest victims. How dare you deprive them of the very "equality of lifestyle" that the concept of Child Support is based upon. Shame on you, Randeeee, for insisting that this happen. And more shame on you, Lars, for letting it.