The Pre-Game Warm-Up

The evening before the graduation, Estelle rides into town on one of the Four Horses of the Apocalypse.  I am surprised there wasn't a swarm of locusts or dead frogs falling from the sky like rain. 

Not being in touch with her, I am spared all the pre-visit hullaballoo.  I have no idea when she's expected or what preconceived notions she has about controlling the whole agenda. It would be liberating if it weren't nerve wracking.

I have assured Charlotte that she need not be worried about my conduct. I will not engage in any behavior that would have her wishing she'd not invited me. I have more respect for her and Jack and their boys than that. And myself for that matter. I won't be bated and I won't be chased down a rabbit hole. I will quietly walk away from any confrontation that Estelle try to ignite.

Estelle is the wild card. She'd never been predictable. She has always been aggressive and controlling. It still irks her that she's not able to control me and worse, that I'm not fooled by her crap.  My unwillingness to engage might be just the suggestion of aloofness that sends her sailing over the edge of reason.

I am a little on edge at work. I tell my friend. She tells me to take deep breaths. Have a glass of wine when I go home. Meditate.

I feel like I am appearing in court the next morning.

On my way home, in epic traffic, I am sitting at a light, for the third rotation, when my iPod dings indicating I have a message.

It's Charlotte.

Dear God - Mom is on the phone with Bill talking so loudly hat the neighbors can hear. She is so controlling with him. She'll be gone for 48 hours and she is asking him about his dinner and coffee and whether or not he complied with her instruction to peel his corn on the patio so that the corn silk doesn't get all over the kitchen. Bill can't hear a thing. Sweet bearded Jesus!

I write back, before the old lady in front of me wakes up from her Rush Hour Nap behind the wheel. "Deep breaths and wine." I intend to do the same on the advice of the colleague.

Mom has an annoying habit of yelling like a howler monkey into your answering system when you don't answer. Like you avoided her call and yelling at you would get you to pick up, as if you could hear her. She doesn't realize that the system just records. No one hears her. She's done this once or twice in the short time she's been at Charlotte's. Yelling, "Billy! Billy!  Bi-i-i-l-l-y-y. Pick up! Billy! It's Estelle!

Like he wouldn't know that.

Charlotte invites me to come to their house before graduation tomorrow.

I've thought about how the morning might go. I think there might be strength in numbers. "Sure if you don't think she will stroke out."

No answer. She might stroke out. But it's decided. I will be there and will see Mom before the graduation.

I need to practice pretending to be calm.