The Mistress of My Domain

Sometime when you need a reality check, instead of confiding in a friend and asking if he or she thinks you are making a mistake, or comparing your decision against their moral compass, put it to the ultimate litmus test.

Post the question on your wall on Facebook.


I did just this when I picked up my kids from camp at the end of the week to begin a nice stretch of time with them. Moments after buckling our seat belts, my daughter turned to me and said some of the most dreaded words, " Mom, I have something to tell you and I hope you don't get mad."


I stopped backing out of my space and said, "Should I wait a minute to drive so you can tell me?"


She nodded and continued with the hateful statement, "Dad told me not to tell you because you'd be upset, but I want to tell you. Remember last night when I called you and told you I had been shopping for new shirts? I lied."


And what followed was a story that had so very many things wrong with it that I could never be mad. Not at her. It had me shaking my head and sad to my very soul. I had no idea what to do.


So I posted a question on my FB wall and let my FB Friends be my guide:


What do I say to my (idiot) ex-husband who let his (ninny) girlfriend take MY daughter out to buy her first bra? So far as I know there are no bra emergencies.... Truly I am at a loss. Although a bra burning seems appropriate.

FB Friend/Cousin: Isn’t that stepping into a territory that should be out of bounds for anyone except the lovely lady who brought those growing bosoms into this world?

Me: My thoughts exactly. Clearly my domain. And from the looks of things, I would be the subject matter expert as well.

FB Friend/Cousin: well, somehow, i am quite confident that you will get your revenge. You are the queen of comebacks, aren't you?

Me: I am indeed. Wearing the tiara as we FB. The best part was that he told her not to tell me because I'd be mad. Ummm hello...and I'd be mad because....I SHOULD BE!!!

FB Friend/Male College Friend: Inappropriate!

FB Friend/Female College Roommate: Wtf!!! Um.....wtf!!! Um.........WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!!!!

Me: I know! It's supposed to be my job. My honor. My chance to inadvertently embarrass the dear girl with a comment audible in other fitting rooms! It's wrong on so many levels.

FB Friend/Female College Roommate: You know, I need to say here that I disliked that bum ever since you were dating and he FREAKED out....I don't remember the flipping specifics but I believe there were things flying out windows included in the mix. Or.....something similar! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

FB Friend/Girls Weekend Friend: You crack me up.....but you are right...that is SO wrong!

FB Friend/Male College Friend: What you have is a woman who's trying to win points with both a young daughter and her father and it doesn't always make for very good judgment

FB Friend/Another female cousin: UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FB Friend/Former colleague: In 5 years your daughter will figure out for herself how weird this was....

Me: And she'll add it to the growing list of very weird things...


The verdict is in. It was wrong. I have a right to be sad. I have a right to feel violated.


The question I can not seem to answer is:


What do I say to my (idiot) ex-husband who let his (ninny) girlfriend take MY daughter out to buy her first bra?


In the mean time, since enlightening the Bad Parent and the Non-Parent with all the ways in which this scheme was a violation of all the written and unwritten rules seems a fool's errand, I did what any good mother would do.


I took my daughter out and bought her a couple of fabulously beautiful bras.